


It’s All Downhill From Here

by TheBearMinimum



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, Dark Humor, F/F, F/M, Humor, I Don't Even Know, I’m trying okay, M/M, Maybe more characters to add, More tags if I find more dumb stuff to say, Music, murded mystery, pretty damn gay, teens being stupid
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 08:34:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 32,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13994502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBearMinimum/pseuds/TheBearMinimum
Summary: It’s normal for the kids if South Park when something bizarre happens. It’s not an uncommon thing, but this time the strangeness doesn’t stop. It gets worse and worse. Secrets come out and confusion arises. The kids are by themselves on figuring this out. One thing we all know; everything goes wrong for the kids of South Park





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [My friends who I hope never see this](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=My+friends+who+I+hope+never+see+this).



> All chapters are named after songs. Each chapter will have a lyric from the song slipped in. See if you can find them.
> 
> It’s All From Here by New Found Glory

> Kyle counted the years on his hands

10…11…12…13

13.

Stan had been Kyle’s super best friend for 13 years. They’d met at 3 years old in preschool. Inseparable ever since.

Today was the day they’d first met. An easy day to remember seeing as it was on Stan’s birthday that their friendship started.

Kyle had something special for his best friend’s 16th. He’d been working on it since Stan’s 15th birthday. It was cheesy and Cartman was bound to make fun of it, but Kyle didn’t care. It was for Stan so only Stan’s opinion mattered. Plus Kyle couldn’t give two shits on what Cartman thought.

…

“Mmmph Mph Mp,” Kenny said. Kyle blinked.

“Excuse me?” Kenny let out a muffled laugh, unzipping his jacket a bit.

“I’m just messing with ya.” The blonde boy smiled. Kenny had been cute when they were younger. A skinny boy with messy hair and freckles all over his nose and cheek. Always wrapped up in an orange parka that really only showed his deep blue eyes. Over he years, Kenny had gone from cute to handsome. He showed his face now, but still always wore a light, orange colored jacket. He still had long, messy hair, but it looked somehow stylish on him. Kenny had a note able scar going across his nose, but Kenny got hurt so often that none of the boys could remember how exactly he got it.

“Honestly, I don’t know how any of us understood you when we were kids,” Kyle stated, shaking his head.

“That’s just one of the many wonders of prepubescent,” Kenny replied. Though Kyle didn’t see it, he wasn’t too shabby looking himself. He still wore his signature green ushanka hat. He also continued to wear his orange and green coat. Kyle’s unruly hair always peaked out from under his hat. Kyle hated his hair due to how curly and difficult to manage it was, but Kenny always thought Kyle’s hair was cute. Kenny also thought the birthmarks that were sprinkled all over Kyle’s body was also adorable. Not that Kenny ever dared to mention it.

Kenny spotted that Kyle was holding a large rectangular frame covered in blue s f red wrapping paper. Kenny opened his mouth to ask what it was, but was cut off by another asking the same question.

“Whatcha got there, Jew?” Eric said, walking to the stop with his hands on his head like he was relaxing on the beach.

“None of your business, fatass!” Kyle responded. Kenny sighed. The arguments never changed after all this time. Sometimes Kenny wondered why Stan, Kyle, and him were even “friends” with Eric. Sometimes he could be pretty funny. Was that it? Was it just cause they’d all been friends so long that they couldn’t shake each other off? Maybe it was Becca they had to see each other at the bus stop every morning. Maybe it was because they’d been through so much crap together that it stuck them all together like glue. To Kenny, it was one of the world’s greatest mysteries.

Eric Cartman was still a fatass. That was no surprise. His mom tended to let Eric do whatever the hell hr wanted, which always annoyed Kenny. Ms. Cartman was practically encouraging her sons demented behavior. Eric’s hair was short and neat. He no longer wore his hat like he did when he was younger. Eric also had a red coat that seemed to Kenny was in a constant state of threatening to break, with zipper poking someone’s eye out. That someone would most likely be Kenny considering his luck.

“Ay!” Cartman shouted “don’t call me fat!” Kyle and Eric began to bicker relentlessly. Kenny loved his friends, but Kyle and Eric’s constant arguing got annoying sometimes.

“What did Cartman do now?” Stan asked with a sigh. Stan had become rather well toned over the years for whatever reason. His hair had grown to right above his ears and was always neatly brushed despite becoming a mess before they even got halfway to school.

“Cartman’s being an asshole as usual,” Kyle replied. What else is new? Kenny thought to himself

“All I asked what the stupid Jew his holding!” Eric said in defensive.

“Stop making fun of my religion, fatass!”

“Stop making fun of my wait you stupid Jew!” Kenny noticed that Kyle had slipped back into his style of argument with Eric from when they were 10. Kyle became much more intelligent with his insults, but today Kenny felt like it was another day of 4th grade rather than 10th.

Eric and Kyle’s arguing died down quickly after a few more jabs. The 4 boys then all took their typical standing positions at the bus stop. Over the years the boys had grown to stand in height order. Which Stan had said felt strangely pleasing. Kenny didn’t care. Now he got to stand next to Stan rather than be stuck at the back with Eric. Kyle was the tallest of the boys, next came Stan who was a couple inches shorter, then Kenny, then Eric.

Kenny once remarked that their heights didn’t reflect their dick sizes

Except for Eric, of course.

Kenny’s humor and way of thinking became less dirty over the years, but still found it fun to see people’s reactions when he said something lewd. Plus it was hard to keep a clean mind when you’re in high school.

“Happy birthday, Stan!” The red head cheered. It clicked in Kenny’s head now. He had never been good at birthdays, but he was pretty sure Stan only cared about the gifts from Kyle and Wendy. Kyle’s large rectangle made sense now.

The blue eyed boy grinned.

“Thanks, Kyle! What’d you get me?” Kyle smirked and patted the large present.

“It’s a surprise,” Kyle replied.

“Gay.” Eric remarked. Kenny elbowed the fat boy in the gut, which there was plenty of.

“Ow, Kinny! What did you do that for.”

“Because you’re a jackass,” Stan said with a shrug.

“Ay!”

At that moment the bus pulled up to the stop. The boys climbed aboard, taking their typical seats in the middle of the bus. Stan, Kenny, and Eric ended up sitting in a three seater together. Usual Stan sat next to Kyle in the two seater across the way, but Kyle’s gift made sitting next to him impossible. Butters got on the bus next. Typical he sat next to Kenny and Eric in the three seater, but do to the aforementioned he had nowhere to sit.

“Hey, fellas!” Butters greeted “happy birthday, Stan!” Kenny smiled. Kenny always enjoyed Butters’ company. He was a breath of fresh air to the usual chaos that was Kenny’s life.

Kenny also found him cute.

Butters was the shortest boy in the grade. He has a scar going down his right eye, which also happened to be blinded. Kenny was the cause of both due to throwing a shuriken at Butters eye accidentally when the boys were 10. Butters was never upset at Kenny. He was very forgiving about it,

“Get up, Eric,” Kenny said, nudging the large boy.

“What? Why?”

“Let Butters sit.”

“Oh, no way.” Kenny nudged Eric harder, making Eric fall off the seat.

“Oh no, Kenny, it’s fine,” Butters insisted. Stan reached over Kenny and patted the spot closest to the aisle.

“Come on. Sit dude,” Stan said.

“Yeah, Butters. Let Cartman find another seat,” Kyle agreed. Eric grumbled and took a seat in the three-seater behind them. The black haired boy in the seat was too afraid of Eric to object.

Butters sat next to Kenny, sliding his backpack under the seat. Kenny sighed and put his arm around Butters’ shoulders.

“Much better,” Kenny remarked. Stan leaned forward to catch Kyle’s eye.

“When do I get to see my present?” The black haired boy asked eagerly.

“Lunch time,” the redhead responded.

“6th period?” Stan complained. “You love watching me suffer, don’t you.” Kyle chuckled.

“How are you gonna fit Stan’s present in your locker, Kyle?” Butters asked. Kyle patted his gift.

“I’ll find a way.”

…

Wendy Testaburger and Stan Marsh have been an on and off couple since 3rd grade. They never were broken off for longer than a week. They always just said they were “going through the motions.” Everyone knew the pattern. Much to Wendy’s dismay. She should have paid more attention to the date she broke up with Stan on. Today would make a week. Unfortunately, today was Stan’s birthday. How could Wendy possible tell Stan they shouldn’t get back together on his birthday?

She gripped the small, neatly wrapped present. It was a book called “The Guitarist’s Bible”. Stan had become very serious about the guitar. It was a passion of his. Stan talked about the book before but lamented that he didn’t have enough cash for it. He got a job at an ice cream shop in town, but minimum wage made it feel impossible to get the money needed to buy the book. Wendy had bought the book a month ago and was really excited to see Stan’s reaction. She could see his blue eyes light up after ripping off the wrapping paper in her head. She was still eager to give Stan his gift, but she dreaded seeing him at the same time.

Maybe she didn’t have to. Maybe she could somehow avoid Stan all day without him realizes. They didn’t have any classes together aside from lunch. She only saw him then and in the hallways o ccasionally. She could go the enter day pretending to be unable to talk to him. She just needed help. She needed someone close to Stan. The first person that popped up was Kyle Broflovski. The two boys were often seen together. Practically inseparable. Which of course meant she couldn’t get his help. It’d be asking him to betray his best friend. Wendy knew Eric Cartman was Stan’s close friend. Why she could never figure out. She hated Cartman. Everyone did. There was no way she’d ask that sociopath for anything. She’d rather rip her own tongue out. She’d rather rip out his, though.

The last person that Wendy thought of was Kenny McCormick. Wendy didn’t know much about Kenny. He never really talked much and whenever he did Wendy could never quite understand him due to the parka he wore when they were kids. He was easier to understand now, but still didn’t say much. Kenny was probably Stan’s 2nd best friend after Kyle. Hopefully he’d be willing to help her. She approached him slowly.

“I…need to ask a favor of you, Kenny.” The blonde haired boy clicked his lock shit and faced Wendy with a welcoming grin on his face.

“Hmm? Sorry Wendy, I stopped my blow job business in 7th grade.”

“What? Ew.” Kenny laughed, Wendy realized he was joking.

Hopefully.

“I kid I kid. What can I do for you?”

"I need you to keep Stan away from me for the rest of the day,” Wendy explained. Kenny stuck his hands in his pockets and tilted his head slightly to the side.

“Aren’t you suppose to be getting back with Stan today?”

"I am…but I don’t think we should. I don’t want to fuck up his birthday so please help me.” Kenny thought for a moment. It was risky because he might just go off and tell Stan.

“Okay.” Wendy’s eyes widened. The bell to get to first period rung.

“Seriously?” Kenny shrugged.

“Sure why not? Best not to fuck up my friend’s birthday.”

“You’re the best Kenny! I owe you one,” Wendy called as she ran to first period. Kenny waved her goodbye.

“No problem, dude.”

…

Kyle ended up having to lug Stan’s gift along with him all day. It wasn’t exactly an easy thing to carry around. He carefully navigated the halls, trying to avoid some jackass breaking it on ripping the paper.

For Kyle, the day couldn’t go quicker. By lunch time Stan’s present had had 3 near death experiences.

The redhead couldn’t be more relieved when lunch time rolled around. He couldn’t care around the present for another second.

Kyle sat down at their usual table. He always got there first. Typically Kenny came in second. You’d think the fatass would be in the cafeteria first, but his lockers was far away and Cartman couldn’t run for shit.

Stan came third due to to taking his time talking to Wendy. Today, Stan came second. He sat down fiddling with his hat. Kyle noticed Stan was a bit confused.

“Something wrong, dude?” Kyle asked. Stab scratched his head.

“I think I’m being ridiculous, but I feel like Wendy’s been avoiding me all day today.” Kyle frowned. He’d always had a good relationship with Wendy. She was his best friend’s girlfriend. She’s smart and a kind person. There had to be a good reason Stan wasn’t seeing her. Especially on the guy’s birthday.

“Aw, Kyle, didn’t show your boyfriend his gay present yet?” Cartman said, sitting down on the bench next to Stan making it shake.

“Shut up, Cartman!” Kyle exclaimed.

“Yeah. Shut up, Cartman” Stan echoed.

“Aw, did I upset the faggy Jew?” Cartman asked, eating a fry off his tray. Kyle just glared at Cartman with pure hatred.

“Drop dead, fatass!”

“You drop dead, Jew!”

“Okay guys, that’s enough,” Stan said. “Let’s just eat out damn lunch.” He took a bit of a chicken finger that was probably undercook and took a sip of water.

“You can open my present now,” Kyle confirmed. Stan perked up much to Kyle’s relief.

“Sweet dude! Finally.” Stan impatiently grabbed the present and tore off the wrapping paper. Staying back at him was a large cork board in a picture frame. I collage was pinned to the cork board. Memories flooded back to Stan like a tidal wave. Crashing on him and pulling him into the sea of nostalgia. Newspaper clippings, art from elementary school, pictures from the first days of school and parties and Halloween and other event. It was decorated with a music theme. Music notes at the corners of the frame, stickers guitars and real guitar picks were there too. Stan’s mouth was slightly ajar and his eyes were intensely focused on the collage. It looked like he was trying to soak in every detail. Kyle grinned, glad Stan seemed to enjoy the present. Kyle had spent a year trying to get it perfect.

“Kyle…this is amaz-“

“Gay!” Cartman yelled, cutting Stan off. Kyle was about to yell at the fatass again, but Kenny strolled up at hat moment.

“What’s going on guys?” Kenny sat down next to Kyle and begin eating a very sad looking hamburger.

“Look at what Kyle made me,” Stan said. Kyle felt pride bubbling in his chest.

“Yeah, Kinny. Look at the gay board Khal made him.” Stan and Kyle rolled their eyes in unison.

“Why are you so late to lunch today, Kenny,” Stan asked. Kyle had been wondering the same thing. Kenny had been close to Stan’s side the entire day so far. When Kyle asked him about Kenny insisted it was because he felt bad about never being able to get Stan a gift. Kyle accepted this explanation, but he felt that it was some sort of lie. He didn’t want to accuse his friend of alternative motives. He trusted Kenny. Something just didn’t sit quite right with him. He had a bad feeling since he got to school and he couldn’t shake no matter how hard he tried.

“Hey, Kenny. Have you seen Wendy at all today?” Stan asked. Kenny swallowed the bit he took out of his burger.

“I saw her in my math class,” Kenny said. “other than that, nope.” Stan frowned.

“Oh.”

“Oh!” Kenny exclaimed. “I almost forgot. She wanted me to tell you she’s getting math help during lunch. She also says happy birthday incase she doesn’t see you.”

“Oh.”

“Whatever, I’m going up to get more fries,” Cartman said. He did just that. The 3 boys watched him get in the lunch line.

Kyle reached over and patted Stan’s head to reassure him.

“I’m sure it’s nothing, Stan.”

…

Bebe Stevens hated gym. She didn’t care for sports. She also hated that she had gym in the after lunch. It was better than having it in the morning and sweat throughout the whole day, but she still hated being exhausted and gross throughout the second half. Today they were playing basketball. Half the court competitive, the other half not. Kenny McCormick was one of the few boys who played noncompetitive. Kyle was another boy. He was on the basketball team, but played sports noncompetitive in gym. Probably to stick with Kenny. Bebe had thought she liked Kyle when she was 9 but found that it was really just because both their best friends were dating each other. She was still on good terms with the redhead. Another issue with gym was that Eric Cartman was in Bebe’s class. Everyone hated that fat sociopath. Unfortunately he played noncompetitive too.

The best thing about gym was that Bebe’s best friend Wendy was in the same class as her.

Bebe and Wendy had been friends since kindergarten. Sure somethings get between them, but they always make up. In recent years Bebe realized something that made their friendship harder. Though Wendy didn’t know it. Bebe had developed a…

Oh there’s Wendy.

The smaller girl walked up to Bebe. Face pale. Terrified.

“Wendy…are you okay?” Bebe asked. There was a heavy silence between them for a few moments “Wen-“

“He’s dead. Eric Cartman’s dead.” Bebe paused.

“Yeah. We all wish that.” Wendy gripped Bebe’s arm tightly.

“No, I mean he’s dead. He’s actually dead.” How do you react to something like that? Even when your best friend is telling you up front. Bebe had saw him barley 5 minutes ago. Eric had volunteered to put some stuff away in the equipment closest. He hadn’t come out so everyone assumed he was trying to ditch. The gym teacher, Mr.Morgan, had ordered Wendy to get Eric to get out. Wendy, of course, was happy to yell at Eric. She hated him more than anyone. She’d even beaten the crap out of him in 4th grade.

“Maybe…maybe…” Bebe searched her head for a reasonable explanation. This had to be a sick joke. The boy has dressed up as Hitler for Halloween multiple times. This couldn’t be real.

“Let’s get Kyle and Kenny. I’m sure they have a better explanation,” Bebe suggested.

Kenny and Kyle’s team was up playing. There were three teams and Wendy and Bebe had been sitting out till one team scored twice. No one was really playing. They were just goofing off and pretending to play. Bebe dragged Kenny and Kyle off the court. Shaking a little as she did. Wendy stood a few inches behind her. Still pale.

“What’s going on?” Kyle asked.   
  
“It’s…” Bebe wasn’t actually too sure what to say. Wendy didn’t really describe what she saw. “Um…let me just show you.” Kyle and Kenny exchanged glances.

“Okay?” Kyle agreed. Kenny just shrugged. The 4 kids made their way over to the equipment closet. Bebe took hold of the handle and slowly opened the door. The light was still on. On the floor laid a familiar large figure. Blood pooled undearneth his head. At first, no one did or said anything.

“Oh no way!” Kyle was the first to break the silence.The other 3 looked him. “There is no way that fatass is dead. He’s just screwing with us.” Kyle looked rather angry. He marched over to Eric.

“Shows over. Get up, Cartman,” the taller boy exclaimed, fist clenched. There was no response. Much to the two girl’s surprise, Kyle offered a swift kicked to the corpse. No response. Kyle unclenched his fists, expression softening.

“No way. This isn’t funny. Get up!” Still no reaction. Kenny walked over and took one of the pini-tees out of the small crate they were in. He took another one and handed it to Kyle.

“Let’s flip him over,” Kenny suggested. Kyle stared down at the pini-tee. Wendy was grabbing Bebe’s arm again. Both girls were in shock.

“No way, I’m not touching him,” Kyle said. Kenny frowned.

“Come on Kyle. Help a buddy out. We can see if he’s messin with us or not,” Kenny coerced. Another pause filled the room. Bebe could feel her heart in her throat, blocking any air. She guessed that all of them must be holding their breath.

The two boys flipped Eric over. It took every ounce of Bebe’s will to keep herself from screaming.

Eric’s brown eyes were wide open, but there was no life in them. A slash ran across his throat, blood still pouring out. For whatever reason, whoever did this wasn’t satisfied with just killing the boy, they cut off his tongue too. Eric’s jaw was broken. Bebe hardly noticed herself throw up. Her stomach hurt.

The town sociopath, the most hated kid in school, a 15 year old boy.

Eric Cartman,

was dead.


	2. Tiny Glowing Screens pt.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eric’s still dead, Stan sulks, Butters is a soft boi, Kyle’s stressed out, and Kenny is confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tiny Glowing Screens pt. 1 by George Watsky
> 
> Can you find the lyric from the song I slipped in?

Stan Marsh was having the worst birthday ever. First he woke up late a had to make a mad dash to the bus stop. Then his locker wouldn’t open and he was late for first period and got screamed at in front of the whole class and got detention. Then Wendy, who he was suppose to be getting back together with, seemed to be avoiding him. To top the horrible day off one of his closest friends was now dead.

After Kyle had given him a really cool collage of nostalgia, Stan thought the rest of the day was gonna he great. Leave it to his super best friend to cheer him up.

It was barely 10 minutes into 7th period when the announcement was made.

“A student was been found dead on campus. The school is to be evacuated, buses are here to take students home. Parents have been notified. If you walk home walk in a group of two or more people.”

That was a terrifying announcement. Kids began to panic. A few cried. Stan wasn’t phased, though. There were a group of kids from elementary school who had grown used to this kind of thing. It always made Stan uncomfortably how used to it he was. South Park had always been weird and dangerous. Sometimes it felt like the town existed outside reality. Stan was getting ready to evacuate with everyone else, but he was stopped.

“Mr.Marsh,” his science teacher Ms.Zitto said, “you’ve been asked to report to the principal office.”

Oh no.

Of course he was somehow involved with this. When was he not? His fucked up life would probably make the best,!if not strangest, tv show.

Stan didn’t argue. He was kind of pissed off. This is probably Eric’s doing. The boy thought to himself. He pushed his way through the crowd of kids running out of the building. When he made it to the principal office the hallway was pretty much cleared out. It was strangely quiet. Like the entire school was holding its breath. It was weird coming to the principal’s office without Craig sitting either outside or inside the office.

Stan opened the door with slight hesitation. He wasn’t surprised to see that Kenny and Kyle were there, but he was taking back to see Wendy and Bebe in the seats in front of Principal Victoria’s desk. PC Principal was still Principal of South Park Elementary, but Principal Victoria was given job as principal of South Park High School after the previous one won the lottery, declared they’re hatred for South Park, and left.

Stan took a seat next to Kyle. As he did two police officers entered the room. They were from the next town over, which made sense considering Officer Barbrady was one of the South Park police. Stan liked Officer Barbrady. He was a nice guy and all, but Stan was pretty sure he was actually retarded, or at least had some mental handy-cap.

“What’s going on,” Stan whispered. He tugged on his super best friend’s sleeve. Kyle was still in his gym close. So were Kenny, Wendy, and Bebe. Kyle opened his mouth to respond but was quickly cut off.

“I’m sure all of you know you are here in regards to the tragic death of Eric Cartman, we’d…”

Stan completely tuned out the two officers. Eric Cartman was dead? Bullshit. There was no way he could be dead. No goddamn way.

“…rsh”

“…arsh”

“Mr. Marsh!” Stan was quickly snapped back into reality by Principal Victoria.

“W-what?” Was all he could managed.

“Mr. Marsh I know this is difficult for you but please answer the nice police man’s question.”

Stan looked up at the officer. He was still trying to piece together how any of this was possible.

“Mr. Marsh how well did you know mr. Cartman?”

“He’s been my close friend since preschool,” Stan said. A picture popped in his mind of him and his friends in preschool. How could someone he’s known for so long be dead?

“And how long have you know the other kids in this room?”

“The same amount of time, sir.”

“Well, there will be an investigation into this incident, and you 5 could be crucial to this case. We will need to have quick contact with all of you and you must tell us anything you think may be important. No matter how ridiculous you may think it to be. Understand?” The officer said. The teens silently nodded. “Now, did Eric Cartman have any enemies? Anyone who you may suspect of doing this?” The 5 looked at each other.

“Um, Scott Tenorman,” Kyle suggested.

“Yeah yeah,” Kenny agreed “and Kanye West.”

“Didn’t he also screw up Jennifer Lopez life somehow,” Stan said.

“Didn’t he also take down Mickey Mouse or something?” Bebe said

“No that was Kenny,” Kyle corrected

“Right right,” Wendy said “Didn’t he start a cult of ginger kids and then ditched and now the cult hates him or something.”

“Oh I remember that,” Stan said. “ He also hated hippies so there’s that.”

“Didn’t he try to get Family Guy off the air once?” Bebe added.

“I doubt this is Family Guy related,” Wendy said. “It could have something to do with those crack babies he exploited.

“Could it be those visitors?” Kenny asked.

“No,” Stan said shaking his head “What about John Lennon?”

“John Lennon is dead, Stan” Kyle said.

“Oh right.”

“What about Saddam Hussein?”

“He’s also dead.”

“Maybe it’s because he tried to kill the President of FOX?” Kenny said.

“Oh come on, Kenny. Who hasn’t tried to kill a FOX executive at this point,” Stan pointed out.

“Could it be Trent Boyett?” Kyle asked

“No, he moved to Idaho.” Kenny said.

“He blackmailed George Clinton once,” Stan said. Kyle was about to suggest another culprit, but one of the police officers slammed his hand on the table. Silencing everyone.

“Look, we need you all to take this seriously. Don’t throw in celebrities and politicians in for fun. Now who in South Park could have done this?”

Stan searched through his memories. A better question would be who wouldn’t want Eric Cartman dead. He was racist, anti-semitic, violent, homophobic, a murder. That wasn’t even half of it.

“Scott Tenorman would probably be the best place to start,” Kenny said.

“What did he do to Scott Tenorman?” The officer asked.

“Made him eat his parents,” Stan said calmly. It was one of the worst things Eric had ever done. Maybe the worst. It depended on who you ask.

“Kids, Scott Tenorman is in college. He’s in his last year,” Principal Victoria said.

“Oh right. I forgot people besides us aged,” Stan said. The other 4 nodded.

…

When the 5 were allowed to leave they were surprised to find Butters waiting outside. Butters had trouble getting out of school due to being pushed to the ground because of all the other students rushing out. When Butters finally got out the buses had left and he knew none of the kids who were getting a ride home. His parents would be mad if he called them to pick him up. Butters was afraid they might ground him, so he waited for Kenny, Stan, Kyle, and Eric to get out. He knew Kenny would let him walk with them.

Butters stood in front of the school alone. He gripped the straps of his back back. What was taking his friends so long? We’re they in trouble. Golly, he hoped not.

By the time Kenny, Stan, and Kyle left the school it was the time school typically let out. Following behind Butter’s pals were Wendy and Bebe. Butters didn’t talk to them much, but they were nice to him. Not a lot of people were.

Bebe had her arm draped around Wendy in a comforting way, Kyle was doing the same for Stan. Kenny just walked down the steps with his hands in his jacket pockets. Kenny was doing that weird thing were he wore his hood up but didn’t zip his jacket. The blonde boy grinned at Butters in a way that felt like he was trying to comfort the smaller boys.

“What are you still doing here, Leo?” Kenny was the only one who’s nickname for him came out of Butters actually name. Kenny said it made him feel special to be the only one to call him that. It made Butters feel special too.

“I was waiting for you, fellas!” Butter responded cheerfully. The mood felt thick since the evacuation. Butters wanted to make his buddies feel a little better. “Why were you guys inside for so long?”

“Well,” Stan began to explain. He patted off Kyle’s arm. Butters thought Kyle looked a tad disappointed, but it was most likely Butters’ imagination. “The police had to ask us some questions, and afterwards all of us but me had to change out of our gym clothes.” Butters nodded.

“Oh, I see. Hey, where’s Eric?” Butters said. The 5 other teens all looked at each other uncomfortably. Butters’ heart dropped. Kenny put his arm gently around Butters and pulled the smaller boy close to him.

“Look, Leo. It’s hard to tell you this…but you won’t be seeing Eric around anymore.” Butters looked down at his feet.

“Oh.” He didn’t know what else to say.

…

Kyle didn’t know what to feel. His greatest enemy was dead. He no longer had to suffer at the end of that fatass’ taunts. Part of him was happy about this. That scared him. Maybe he didn’t really Cartman a friend, but in a way, they were. Neither of them liked each, but they had been “friends” for a long time. Kyle didn’t know you could feel so sick and so relieved at the same time. He didn’t know you could be both terrified and happy. His mom had a long chat with him and his younger brother Ike. Which he had drowned out. Ike asked Kyle about what had happened. Ike was Kyle adopted brother from Canada. He was currently in 6th grade at 11 years old. Ike had undercut black hair a bit like Butters but longer and messier.

Ike was eventually shooshed away by their mother. Kyle was glad to finally get some breathing room for the first time that day.

It didn’t lasted very long.

After 5 minutes of getting to relax Kyle’s phone began ringing.

“Fat bottom girls you make the rocking-“

Kyle groaned as he answered his phone, wanting to cut off the song as fast as possible. Why’d he let Kenny pick his ringtone? And why hadn’t he gotten someone to change it for him yet. Kenny said the song was by Queen. He wasn’t lying. Kyle put too much trust in Kenny sometimes.

“Hello?” Kyle answered, he hadn’t bothered looking who the call was from.

“Kyle, I need you to talk to Tweek.” Oh. Craig Tucker. Not someone Kyle talked to often.

“What?”

“I need you to talk to Tweek.”

“Huh? Why?” Craig and Tweek Tweak had been dating since a mishap when they were all in 4th grade. Sometimes things just fit together.

“He’s freaking out about today and I can’t calm him down. You were there so tell him it’s not a big deal.”

“It is a big deal, Craig. A person is dead.”

“I mean tell him it’s not anyone we know so he shouldn’t be so upset about it.”

“It is someone we know.” There was a short pause.

“What?” Craig’s voice was stoic but Kyle was surprised to here some panic peak through.

“Cartman’s dead, Craig.” Another pause. Tweek’s voice came on in the background.

“Craig? Craig? Agh! W-what’s going on?” Kyle heard Craig say something to Tweek that calmed the panicking boy a little.

“Eric Cartman?” Craig clarified. His voice came down to a whisper. “He’s dead?” Kyle nodded and then realized he was talking on the phone. He mentally slapped himself for doing something embarrassing like that.

“Yeah.”

“Goddamn it.” Craig said. Tweek said something Kyle couldn’t make out.

“I know,” Kyle said. “Never expected him up die.”

“I thought the day he’d die would be the day the sun burns out.”

“Check outside you blinds, maybe it is.” Kyle heard Craig laugh slightly. Kyle didn’t know Craig was capable of such an action. Especially if Kyle was the one causing it.

“Still need me to calm down Tweek?” Kyle asked. “I can try.”

“No. We’re both the type of people who wants to rationalize things. Tweek’s more for emotions. Since Eric’s dead I’m gonna need to try to get him to get his emotions out.”

“You’re a good boyfriend, Craig,”

“Better than you’ll ever be.”

…

Kenny McCormick was so goddamn confused. He was the one who died in this town. He did it a lot. He’d die and come back. Typically the next day. He didn’t know why. He just accepted it. But now his friend was dead. Death felt real for once. To Kenny, death was a nice lie. A thought. A daydream. He died so often that he’d forgotten that people don’t come back like he does. When people die they die. That’s it. End of story.

What’s an immortal to do?

It was a very strange thought to think Eric Cartman would be gone forever. For once Kenny wasn’t on that end of the stick. He was grateful for that, but also devastated. Sure, Eric was a fatass jackass who ripped on Kenny constantly for a financial situation he couldn’t control, but Eric was his friend. They had a lot of good memories together. They did a lot together.

After Kenny dropped Butters off at their house, he went straight home. Nothing was more important to Kenny then making sure his little sister was okay. She’s probably terrified right now. Kenny thought. Hopeful mom and dad are out of the house or passed out. They certainly would make her feel worse.

When Kenny got home he was happily greeted by his younger sister, Karen. She hugged Kenny and buried her head into his puffy jacket. Karen was 12, 3 years younger than Kenny. She was a very shy girl who looked to her older brother for comfort. She’d gotten to be friends with Ike Broflovski, Kyle’s younger brother, and Tricia Tucker, Craig’s younger sister. They all seemed to get along really well. Which surprised Kenny due to their conflicting personalities and the fact that Craig and Kyle didn’t get along that much. They didn’t hate each other, but they didn’t really acknowledge each other.

Karen rugged on Kenny’s jacket sleeve. His heart broke a little when he saw she was staring up at him with teary blue eyes.

“I was scared, Kenny! They said someone was really hurt in the high school. I afraid it was you. And then you took awhile to get home and-“ Kenny patted his younger sister’s hair gently.

“Shh. It’s okay, Karen. I’m fine, see? Everything is going to be okay. I’m not going anywhere. Alright?” Karen sniffed and wiped her eyes. She’s was still clutching onto Kenny’s arm.

“Alright. You promise you’ll be okay?”

“I promise.”


	3. Latin Simone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wendy talks to Stan, Stan grows some balls, Tweek panics, and Bebe is doing pretty good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Latin Simone by Gorillaz
> 
> Can you find the lyric from the song that I slipped in?

Wendy Testaberger was feeling a lot better. Which was surprising considering the fact that she just saw the dead body of her greatest enemy barely 24 hours ago. She was t having a good day, but she wasn’t having a bad one either. School had obviously cancelled. The was a whole police force from the next town over swarming the school. The local police force was there too, but as expected they weren’t doing shit.

Wendy was just grateful for the time to relax and clear her head.

Cause I’m into deep/and I’m trying too keep/ up above in my head/instead of going under

That was the ringtone for Stan. She let all her close friend choose their individual ringtone. She should have expected Stan to pick some emo 2000’s song. She had to admit, it was cute.

She grabbed her phone to see Stan had texted her.

Stan: hey i wanna meet up if you’re free

Crap! Fuck fuck. Damn it!

Every curse Wendy could think of bounced around her head.

Yesterday she’d try to avoid him so she wouldn’t ruin his birthday by breaking up with him for good. Now one of his closest friends was dead. Hell, they died on the poor guys birthday. Stan had depression. He must feel like utter garage right now. She could be selfish and put her want to not date him in front of everything else in his life. He needed a girlfriend to comfort him. Stan was sweet. He really was. It wouldn’t be hard to stick with him a little longer.

Wendy: I’d be happy to meet up. Where do you wanna go and what time?

Stan was quick to respond

Stan: wanna go 2 starks pond @12?? ill pick you up and we can walk ovr.

She laughed a little about how careless Stan was with grammar when the texted. It always looked like he tried and then gave up half way. It was cute.  
———————————————————  
At 12pm on the dot Wendy saw Stan reach her porch from her bedroom window. Wendy greeted Stan after he rung the doorbell. Her parents worked often and were hardly home. The house was pretty much empty. Wendy would never admit it, but she always felt lonely in her house. It was bigger than most houses in South Park, so even when her parents were home everything still felt so far apart.

“They’re having Eric’s funeral tomorrow. Waste of a Saturday,” Stan said.

“Stan! Wasn’t Eric your friend? You shouldn’t say that.” Wendy didn’t really care. She saw it as a waste of a Saturday to.

No one would admit it, but everyone in South Park was relieved in some shape or form that Eric Cartman, the town sociopath, was final gone.

“You know if me or any of my other friends died he’d say that same thing,” Stan pointed out.

“Good point,” Wendy admitted “but if it’s something Eric would say you probably shouldn’t say it.” Stan laughed.

“Ask yourself in any situation ‘what would Cartman do?’ then do the opposite,” the boy declared. Wendy grinned. Over the years Stan acted more like a goofy younger brother than someone to date. She liked being around him, just not in an sort of romantic way. It’d be like dating your brother and that thought made Wendy queasy.

Stark’s Pond was a 3 minute walk from Wendy’s house. They were half way their when Stan stopped. He stayed silent for a short while before turning to face Wendy. He gently held both her hands his.

“Look, Wendy. I really care about you. You’re one of my greatest friends. But I…I…I don’t think we should get back together.”

Wait what?

Stan grew some balls and called it quits with her.

Wendy’s eyes were wide and her jaw dropped slightly.

Was it really this easy? Did he really feel the same way? She’d been so nervous and felt so selfish and Stan took the lead.

“I was scared that you kept avoiding me because you knew I was gonna so this, but I just had to get it off my chest. Do you…do you think we could still be friends?”

“Of course, Stan. To tell you the truth I’ve been thinking the same thing.” Stan sighed and smiled a little.

“I gotta tell you I was terrified on how this would go. I kept playing out the worst case scenario.”

“Me too. Who knew a break up could go so smoothly.” Stan wrapped an Arm around Wendy like he did when they were dating. This time it didn’t feel romantic, it felt sort of like Wendy gained a new best friend. Despite the horror that was happening, Wendy couldn’t help but feel happy.

“‘Now that we aren’t dating for good, I can be a sort of wing-girl for you. Who knows how to give better relationships advice on girls than a girl?” Stan blushed

“Yeah…girls.” Looks like Stanley had a little crush. Wendy was gonna pry that girls name out of him. She wanted to be a good ex-girlfriend and a good best friend.  
She was aware that Kyle out ranked her as Stan’s super best friend. They’d even calling each other that since third grade. Wendy found it adorable.

…  
There weren’t a lot of gays in South Park. The ones who were gay were…quite the characters. Tweek Tweak wasn’t sure if he could even call them gay. They belonged in a whole other category.

Stan had told Tweek about something Chef had told him.

“There’s a difference between gay and Mr.Garrison.” Mr. Garrison was his…uh…3rd and 4th grade teacher. Tweek was t sure Mr. Garrison could be called a teacher either.

What Chef had told Stan pretty much applied to almost all the gays in South Park.

Except for Craig and Tweek. They were gay, but they were also as normal as everyone else in their grade. Which…wasn’t very normal.

That’s not important though

What’s important now is that Tweek was having a panic attack and nothing was there to calm him down. He ran out of meds, he couldn’t find any coffee, his parents weren’t home and neither was his boyfriend Craig. Tweek felt like he was going to suffocate. Like he was going to die. Die! Die just like Eric!

Oh god oh god oh godohgodohgod!

Tweek tried to take deep breaths like Craig had told him to but he couldn’t!

Goddamn it why wasn’t anything working. Tweek grabbed his phone. And clicked on the first contact in his phone. He didn’t know who it was but he needed someone to talk to as fast as possible.

“Puppies puppies,” Tweek whispered to himself . “Just think puppies. Fluffy, cute puppies.” The person picked up on the second ring. Tweek instantly recognized the voice.

“Hey Tweek. What’s-“

“BEBE!!” Tweek shouted.

“Uh…yeah? You alright there bud-“

“Agh! What if I’m next, Bebe? Oh god, oh god! What do I do?!” Bebe responded in a very calm tone that Tweek knew she reseeded exclusively for when he was having a panic attack. It made him feel a little better, but the fear and paranoia were knocking at the front door.

“Okay Tweek. It’s alright. Deep breaths like Craig and I told,” Bebe instructed.

“Nngh! I tried that. It’s not working it’s not working!”

“Come on Tweek. I can here you hyperventilating. I know it’s really scary, but you can get threw this.”

“I don’t know.” Tweek tried slowing his breathing down. It was a bit calming but still to fast. “I’m scared. T-there’s someone coming to get us!”

“Shh. It’s okay Tweek. It’s a terrifying thought.”

“It is! M-my parents won’t listen!”

“Craig and I will listen. Deep breaths remember?” Tweek’s breathing was slowing now. Almost back to normal, still hitched.

“What if they-nng-come after me?”

“Then we’ll kick their asses.” Tweek bit his fingernails. It was a bad habit, but he needed something to replace his hair pulling. The phone shook in his hands. The killer is out there. Free to kill. Free to kill Tweek! B-but Bebe said that she’ll kick there asses. Craig will too. Clyde and Token would be there. And Kenny, Kyle, and Stan would probably come too if he asked.

“Y-you will?”

“Absolutely.” Tweek’s breathing was normal now. He was back to his usual paced shaking. He brushed his wild blonde locks with his free hand.

“Do you want me to call Craig?” Bebe asked softly.

“Mhmm.”

“Want me to come too?”

“Mhmm.”

“You gonna be okay by yourself for a little longer.” Tweek paused. Alone? By himself? He didn’t want to be. Not a second longer, but he was strong. He had to be. He could do it. What’s the matter with me? Tweek thought miserably It’s my house. I can do this I can do this.

“Tweek? You alright? Can you wait a little longer.” Tweek took another pause.

“Mhmm.”

 


	4. Kids These Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karen is adorable and Token is one of my favorite characters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kids These Days by KONGOS
> 
> You know the drill. Spot the lyric.

Karen McCormick loved her older brother. He was the only person in her family who actually cared for her (though her mom did care about her.). Kenny was and would always there for her. He’d promised her that many times.

“Penis!”

“PENIS!”

“PENIIIIIIIS!!” 

Those were Karen’s two…uh…best friends. Ruby Tucker and Ike Broflovski. The best Karen could say was that they don’t have respect. 

They probably didn’t even know what respect meant.

Ike and Ruby were playing the, um, “Penis Yelling Game”. Some online fad where 2 or more people would see who could shout “penis” loudest. Karen was unlucky enough to be judge.

“PENIS!!!!!

“PENISSS!!!!” 

Karen would often wonder why she was friends with these two.

“U-uh, could you two stop, nngh! You’re scaring away costumers,” Tweek said. He placed down three cups of hot chocolate. Perfect for a chilly October day. 

“Thank you, Tweek,” Karen said, she would took a sip of the hot chocolate. Making sure to catch a marshmallow in her gulp. 

“Careful there, don’t burn your tongue,” Karen found Tweek funny. He’d often just be shaking. Kenny said he was hyped up on coffee. Eric Cartman said it was because of meth. Karen wasn’t entirely sure what meth was, but she’d pretty sure her mom and dad mentioned it at some point. Kenny also said Eric was an “asshat”, and her brother was usually right about stuff. 

“Karen! Who wins? “ Ike asked. He bounced he his seat. In Tweak Bros. Coffee there was kinda like a bar counter except the served coffee. A bunch of stools were lined up in front of the bar. 

“Uh…” Karen had honestly tried to drown out there shouting. “You do, Ike.”

“Yes!!”

“Bullshit.” Ruby frowned and crossed her arms. Ruby was like her older brother Craig. She took a logical approach to things. Stoic and a little rude. Her enter family had a habit of flipping people off, which Karen found funny. 

“Nope. Karen said a win. Victory sip!” Ike took a big gulp of hit chocolate before spitting it back onto the counter. “HOT! Hot hot hot!”

“Pfft! Hahahaha!” Ruby began to laugh as Ike frantically search for water.

“I bwnt mah tong!” 

“Ike, I told you to be careful! Argh! You’re going to melt your tongue!” Tweek grabbed a water bottle from a mini fridge behind the counter and handed to Ike. Ike chugged the water like his life depended on it.

“The likelihood of of melting your tongue on a hot drink is zero outta 9 billion,” Ruby announced. Karen appreciated Ruby’s logic even if it went unsaid. It was always reassuring.

Ike plopped down back onto the chair to Karen’s right, Ruby sat on Karen’s left. The all took small, non tongue melting sips. Ruby scooted closer to Karen and rested her head on Karen’s shoulder. Ruby did that whenever she was tired or bored. She’d use Karen as a pillow and it made Karen feel special. Useful.

“Kyle said high schoolers don’t have to go to school for a few weeks. I’m really jealous,” Ike said. Karen really liked Ike. He was funny and cute. He could very smart like his brother. He also was loyal and always knew how to make Karen feel better. 

“They’re out because your brothers friend was killed. I can’t say I’m that jealous,” Ruby replied. 

“They weren’t really friends. I don’t think anyone would really call Cartman their friend. He was a huge jackass!” Ike said. Karen frowned.

“You shouldn’t speak ill of the dead,” 

“What if it’s true,” Ike asked.

“Um…well…uh,” Karen stumbled.

“Oh damn,” Tweek whispered. Ruby sat up straight. 

“Something wrong?” Ruby asked. Karen knew Ruby cared about Tweek. She saw him as her kinder older brother and Craig as her unfortunate real older brother. Karen was pretty sure she said that just to piss Craig off. That seemed to be Ruby’s life mission in Karen’s eyes. Karen felt bad for Ruby. Ike and her had great older brothers, Craig, well, he was kind of a dick if Karen was being honest.

“The stores gonna have a rush soon!” Tweek complained. “Gah! I have to handle the shop by myself. That’s way too much pressure!” 

“Do you need any help, Tweek?” Karen said. Tweek always watched Karen and her friends so she was happy to have a way to give back to him some kindness. 

“Oh geez. I can you go back and get some of the coffee beans. They’re on the shelf farthest in the back of the storage room. Will it be too heavy for you?” Karen forced her nonexistent muscles.

“No I got it! I’m strong.” Tweek smiled a bit. 

“Thanks Karen. Gnn! Be careful, and take your time.” Karen nodded and made her way down the stairs that where behind the “Employees Only” door. It lead to the basement of the shop. It was used as a storage room. Of course.

Karen flicked on the light switch and carefully made her way down the stares. The room smelled like freshly brewed coffee and moisture. Karen managed to get one of 4 bags off the back shelf. She was pretty sure she could carry two so she attempted to get down another coffee bag. She almost got it off when she felt someone’s hands on her. The person slammed Karen into the metal shelf as hard as they could. She’d never felt a pain like that before. She was about to scream out in pain but the coffee bag she was trying to take down fell onto her head.

Karen McCormick blacked out.

…

Token Black was pretty sure he was the only sane person in South Park.

Scratch that. 

He knew he was the only sane person in South Park

Him and his friends Clyde Donovan and Craig Tucker. Jimmy Valmer was also Token’s good friend, but Jimmy had moved. Token got sad whenever he thought about it admittedly.

Token was driving home from Eric Cartman’s funeral. Token didn’t want to go but his parents made him. Eric Cartman was a racist. A few steps away from basically being a KKK member. The guy’s “hero” was Hitler. Fucking Hitler! 

“Aw, fuck I forgot,” Craig complained.

“What’s up?” Token asked.

“I have to pick Ruby up from Tweek’s.” Clyde smirked and nudged Craig.

“I thought you liked being anywhere Tweek was,” the green eyed boy cooed. Craig flipped Clyde off much to no one’s surprised. Giving the finger was Craig’s way to say “I love you”, “I hate you”, “hello,” “goodbye,” how are you”, and “go away.”. Token always found it impressive how many meanings a simple action could have.

“Want me to drive you over? I can take you all home.” Clyde reach over from the back seat and gave Token a hug.

“Oh mom, what would I do without you?” Token took a page from Craig’s book and flipped Clyde of.  
\------------------------------------------  
When Token hot to Tweak Bros. Coffee the place was packed. Poor Tweek was probably stressed out of his mind. The three boys felt awkward walking into such a casual coffee shop in their funeral attire. South Park was small. Everyone knew everyone. Token didn’t want to ruin the mood since everyone would easily guess where he and his friends had just been.

Tweak Bros. was pretty much the only coffee place in town. Their coffee wasn’t that good, but also managed to be addicting at the same time. Token wasn’t a fan of coffee so he didn’t know first hand, but that’s how must, and even Tweek, explained it. 

The place was bustling, but it was easy to spot Craig’s strawberry blonde sister. She sat next to Kyle Broflovski's brother, Ike. The boy was sitting on his knees and talking up a storm to the frantic Tweek. Ruby, like her brother, had a deadpan face. 

“Hey Tweek,” Token greeted. Ruby turned around and went from deadpan and frowning. 

“I don’t want to go home yet, Craig,” She said.

“Well you don’t have a choice. C’mon,” Craig replied. She flipped him off and she did the same back.

Craig had a weird family.

“How was the funeral? Gnh!” Tweek was shaking and twitching extra. Token knew it had to be because of having no help while being so busy. He’d have to come back and give Tweek a hand after dropping the Tuckers and Clyde off. 

Clyde shrugged.

“About what you’d expect. Pretty boring. Only his mom cried. Surprised people didn’t cheer.” 

“Don’t speak ill of the dead,” Ruby scolded. Token was surprised. Tucker’s didn’t have respect. They especially didn’t have it for Eric Cartman. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” Craig said “you didn’t even like Eric Cartman, and you were making fun of Albert Einstein this morning.” Ruby flipped him off again.

“Fuck you.” Craig threw his hands up in defeated anger.

“C’mon, we’re going. No complaints.” Ruby gave a long and exaggerated sign. Token was tempted to laugh. The interactions between Craig and his younger sister were always a great sorts of entertaining.

“At least let me say bye to Karen,” Ruby said.

“Where’d she go anyways?” Ike added. 

“She’s been in the storage room for t-ten minutes,” Tweek said. “Nngh! I’ll go get her. Can you guys watch the store for a few moments? I got some orders ready go.”

“No problem,” Token said. He picked up a newly made coffee cup. “Robby!”

“Rodney!” A business looking man corrected.

“Whatever,” Token mumbled as he went to give the man his drink.

Tweek disappeared down the stair case. Token managed to fill 3 made already orders before-

“GAAAAAAH!!” The store was loud with music and chatter so the scream could be assumed to be just a part of the noise. Tweek also usual yelled like that randomly. No one in the coffee shop even paid the yell any attention. 

Craig and Token were quick to race down the stairs.

“Watch Ike and Ruby,” Token instructed Clyde. He saluted Token with a very nervous look on his face. Ike and Ruby said something, probably a complaint, but Token was too focused on making sure Tweek and Karen were okay.

When Token reach the body of the stairs he spotted Tweek holding something. He notice a puddle of blood on the floor. He spotted a bit of knotted brown hair on what Tweek was holding. There was also a pair small legs in oversized jeans. Laying lifeless. Craig was quick to get to his boyfriend’s side. 

Token stood frozen. He knew what was going on but he was desperately searching for a much less painful explanation. 

“Jesus Christ!” The black hair teen shouted. Token snapped out of his shock and ran to Tweek and Craig.

“…fuck…” Was all the Token could manage to say.

Karen McCormick eyes were fixated on the ceiling. They didn’t blink. They didn’t gave the light they typically had. 

There was a gash on her head that was probably the result of a coffee bag. On laid near her and it had some blood on it.

Tears were traced down the small girl’s face. Her jugular cut deep. 

Tweek was crying silently and shaking more than he did with a packed store. The boys all silently stared. 

What the hell do we do? Token thought. His mind raced with all the first aid knowledge he’d learned in one of his electives, but what did you do when any aid would be useless. 

“Tweek…go get Clyde to call the hospital and close the store,” Token instructed. Tweek carefully handed Karen’s corpse to Craig. The usually tough Craig was surprisingly gentle with the young girl. Cradling her in his arms like he was trying to make her feel better. Even if the action went unappreciated. Token made his way in front of Craig and gently closed Karen's eyes.

Token may have not talked to Kenny McCormick much, but his heart hurt for him. Token didn’t want to tell Kenny, but he felt like it was best from him to here it personally than from some random doctor. 

Karen was always happy.

Always smiling.

So nice to everyone.

How could someone do this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I check outside for pitchforks?


	5. High

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny is smad and Clyde is a scared boi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> High by Sir Sly
> 
> Spot the lyric

Kenny McCormick was cursed. He’d die at least once a week. No one ever remembered. He was use to it though. His life was chaotic but everything was okay.

Yesterday his younger sister Karen was killed. So currently he was crying into his pillows. Kenny was t a crier, but what else was he suppose to do. How else should react. Karen always wanted him to be more honest about what he felt, so he cried. He didn’t talk to any of his friends about it. Stan and Kyle desperately tried to reach out, but Kenny told them he just wanted to be alone. The reluctantly let him be.

Tweek was also a mess. The spaz apologized to Kenny profusely but it’s not like Kenny blamed Tweek.

“I-I was suppose to b-be watching her. Gah! It was m-my responsibility. Nngh! I’m so s-sorry Kenny!” He said different combinations of the same sentence over and over. Kenny was infuriated, but not with Tweek. Not with Craig or Token or Clyde. Not with Stan and Kyle. Not with Ike and Ruby. Not with Wendy or Bebe or whoever the fuck else was there or tried to comfort him. He was made at only one person.

Himself.

He was Karen’s “guardian angel.” That’s what she’d call him. He was a terrible guardian and a terrible brother.

“Kenny? Kenny are you awake?” Oh no. Was that Kyle? Kenny knew the redhead wouldn’t leave him alone. He knew Kyle would stop over. Kenny understood that Kyle was concerned about him, but Kenny wanted the comfort of loneliness rather than anyone else.

“Go away, Kyle,” the depressed teen muttered.

“Kyle? Are you have Kyle over?” Kenny heard the voice clearly this time. The voice belonged to a little girl. He sat up in his bed. Covers still on his head. Kenny’s door was open. A small brown haired blue eyed girl was swinging it back and forth while hanging on the doorknob.

“Karen?” Kenny whispered. His blue eyes widened. Karen tilted her head and scrunched her nose like she always did when she was confused.

“You didn’t wake me up. Do I not have school today?” Kenny didn’t answer. He practically jumped off his bed and scooped his younger sister into a hug. This might be a dream, it was definitely a dream, but it felt so real that Kenny didn’t bother to point out the impossibilities.

Kenny lifted up his sister and hugged her tight. The girl hugged him back, burying her head in his should like she always did when he picked her up. Kenny cried into her shoulder. Not a typical part of the hug. Karen pulled away and held her older brothers face in her hands.

“Are you okay, Kenny?”

“Yeah, I am. Everything is just fine.” He smiled weakly.

“I had a bad dream last night,” Karen admitted. “Really bad!” Kenny carried his sister to his bed and plopped her down. His bed was a small mattress on the ground with scratchy blankets that cane from only god knows where.

“What happened?” Kenny asked, sitting next to Karen.

“Well,” Karen began, putting on her story telling voice. “I was at Tweak Bros. with Ruby and Ike and Tweek made us got chocolate and the story got crowded and I went down stairs to get coffee beans for Tweek but then I got knocked out and…and…uh…then I woke up.” Kenny’s mouth went ajar. Wait a minute. Could it be…?

No. That was impossible. Completely impossible.

“He killed me!” Karen exclaimed. She sat on Kenny’s lap like she’d always do when she wanted him to pay extra close attention.

“Who did?”

“One if your friends. The boy with the moo shirt. Does he still wear that?” Kenny thought for a moment. Karen could be very good at story telling and descriptions, but in the morning it was the complete opposite.

“…Clyde Donavon…?” Kenny whispered.

“Yeah him! He killed me in my dream. I dunno why. I don’t dislike him.”

“Weird…”

“Hey Kenny. Can I tell you something weird? And you promise not to laugh?”

“Of course.” Kenny felt his heart drop. He was silently freaking out on the inside. Clyde? Clyde! What the hell?!

“I think the dream wasn’t a dream.” Kenny sucked in a breath. He had to stay calm. He couldn’t have a panic attack right now. Especially not in front of Karen.

“What do you mean.” He was scared to hear her answer.

“It was just so…real. Like a memory rather than a dream.” Kenny’s mind was racing. The only thing he could think of was kicking Clyde Donavan’s fucking ass.

“Go back to bed Karen. Get some rest. You don’t have to go to school today.” Karen nodded and tiredly walked back to her room.

…

“F-F-F-F-Fuck an emcee name/I don’t need no goddamn emcee name/I got nothing to hide/You got something to say?” Clyde Donovan had a surprisingly good singing voice and he wasn’t that bad a rapper.

No one would tell him that, though.

“I'll be rapping I bet/Lean to the left flow right Oh my god/A rose by any name got thorns as sharp/Yo, stage names are for porno stars.”

Clyde was at Craig Tucker’s house. Craig had been one of Clyde’s best friend’s since 3rd grade. He was joined by his bestest friend Token, Craig’s boyfriend Tweek, super best friends Stan and Kyle, his girlfriend Bebe, and Wendy. Do to recent events they were all trying to cheer themselves up. Clyde thought a nice rap would cheer everyone up.

“Ah, feels good to be running from the devil. Makes everything seem more alive,” Clyde said. He was standing on the couch, but fell down onto his back. He position his head in Bebe’s lap.

“Are you high, Clyde?” She laughed. He smirked.

“Maybe a little bit. Gotta love dem brownies.” Bebe ran a hand through Clyde’s hair, which always relaxed him.

Truthfully he’d been feeling stressed the past few days. With all the death.

“CLYDE FUCKING DONOVAN!”

Clyde fell off the couch, smacking his head on the table. The fuck? He looked up to see a very angry looking Kenny McCormick. Before Clyde could process what the hell was going on, Kenny grabbed Clyde by his shirt and pulled him to his feet.

“U-uh, hey Kenny. Good to see you’re feeling better.” Clyde was so goddamn scared right now. Was he busted?

“I’m going to beat your ass into the ground, Donovan!”

“Whoa, Kenny! Calm down dude!” Stan said.

“Don’t tell me to ‘calm down’. This guy is a murderer,” Kenny shouted. There was a pure hatred in Kenny’s eyes that made Clyde’s life flash before his own. How had Kenny found out?

“W-what! Is that true Clyde? Nngh!” Tweek was twitching more than he typically did. Craig pulled the blonde spaz closer to him.

“This is bullshit!” Clyde lied. “I have no idea what he’s talking about." Kenny slammed Clyde against the wall. That action hurt a lot. Clyde wasn’t strong. A bit pudgy, actually

“You’re a goddamn liar and you know it!!” Kenny wasn’t letting up. Clyde was screwed.

“Okay, Kenny. Calm down,” Token said. “Slamming Clyde into a wall and accusing him of murder randomly is making you look like the bad guy here. Take a breath and tell us what’s going on.” There was a moment of silence. After what felt like centuries to Clyde, Kenny let the brunette go with a sigh. Looks like Clyde’s murder would be postponed a little longer. Lovely.

Kenny sat on the couch. He was glaring at Clyde. If looks could kill, Clyde would be dead 10 times over.

“Tell them, Clyde. Tell them that you are a ducking muderer,” Kenny said. Clyde rubbed the back of his neck. He never expected this. How had Kenny found out? Clyde was so careful. Why was he so angry?  
  
“What is he talking about, Clyde.” Oh god. Now Bebe was looking at him with suspicion. Clyde loved Bebe. He didn’t want to lose her.

“Okay! I admit it!” Tears formed in Clyde’s eyes. The room was unbearably quiet. The guilt got to the boy. He was always bad at secrets. Kenny’s eyes narrowed in anticipation. “I stole my dad’s keys and took his car for a ride and accidentally hit a deer! It just came out of nowhere! I didn’t want my dad to know I was driving his car so I just left the deer there. I’m sorry!” The room went silent. Everyone just stared in confusion with at Clyde. Even Kenny looked taken back. He suddenly stood up to his full height, towering over Clyde.

“Not that you idiot!” The tall blonde exclaimed. His hands curled into tight fists. Clyde flinched. He was preparing for Kenny to deck him. “What about my sister?!”

Clyde looked up. He knit his eyebrows together, searching for an explanation to what Kenny could be talking about.

“Your…sister?”

“Stop playing dumb! You know what you did.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about! I swear!”

“LIAR!” Token stepped between the two with his arms out to separate them. Clyde hid behind his friend, legitimately terrified.

“What are you talking about Kenny?” Kyle put a hand on Kenny’s shoulder. “I know you’re upset, but kicking Clyde’s ask in place of Karen’s killer isn’t going to make you feel better.” Kenny bit the tip of his thumb. Clyde could see the wheels turning in the blonde’s head.

“I…I have something I need to tell all of you. It’s a secret I’ve held since 3rd grade, but I think it’s time I finally admitted it. For real.”


	6. Get Me Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle needs to listen, Kenny needs to chill, Craig is chill, and…oh hi Heidi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get Me Out by Falling In Reverse 
> 
> Bonus points if you can find the lyric
> 
> Also let me know if you know how to color text on this site please.

  
As much as he didn’t want to be, Kyle was patient.

He listened careful to every word Kenny said. Every syllable. Every influx of the blonde’s voice. It was hard to even begin to believe what Kenny was saying was true. Yet at the same time it felt as though it would be rather tame compared to other occurrences in their small town over the years.

“So let me get this straight,” Wendy began. “You’re telling us that you are immortal, and Karen seems to possibly have the same power.”

“In the simplest terms? Yes.” Kenny nodded his head in approval. It took all of Kyle’s will not to interject. It was impossible.

“Wouldn’t we remember that kind of thing? You dying I mean,” Kyle said. Kenny frowned. It made Kyle feel bad. Kenny seemed to be genuine. He didn’t think Kenny would lie about this kind of thing. Kyle wanted to trust Kenny, but it just made no sense.

“I don’t know okay! You guys never fucking remember!! Do you have any idea what it’s like to die and have no one care?” Kenny boomed. Kyle backed up, putting his hands up in defense. What Kenny was saying sounded painfully familiar.

“Kenny, just calm down. Kyle wasn’t-“ Kenny cut Stan off.

“NO! I’m not calming down this time. I have been crushed, drowned, hung, impaled! That’s not even nearly half of what I’ve had to go through. And it fucking hurts! It’s excruciating. It’s a pain that is so unimaginably horrible. I can’t kill myself because I’ll just come back. I know, I’ve tried! It’s a living hell! How can I calm down when my little sister might be stuck with the same goddamn curse?!”

The silence was unbearable. Kyle felt like he was choking on it.

What did you say to that? Kyle couldn’t even begin to try and understand what Kenny had been going through. What do you do when everyone fails you? Kyle was scared. Scared for himself and his friend. He didn’t know how to help Kenny. Kyle didn’t know how to help anyone. He just tried to say the situation was fake. What kind of friend was he?

“We’ll…we’ll help you find whoever hurt your sister,” Craig said, shattering the silence. Kyle was taken back slightly. Craig Tucker tried staying as far away from anything abnormal. “Yup, nice and boring. Just the way I like it.” That’s what Craig had said years ago, and it always seemed to stay true. Though…Craig did seem willing to help others when it was something serious. It was surprising, but it also made sense.

Kenny scratched his head in contemplation. Kyle could see just from Kenny’s face that Kenny wasn’t sure if he should bring anyone into this other part of his life.

Too late for that

…

Craig Tucker liked normalcy. He never understood people who saw something strange like a haunted mansion and have their first thought be “let’s go check that out!”. The weirdest situation Craig was in was when Stan and those other guys swindled him out of his birthday money. Craig was admittedly still ticked about it and had complained to Tweek about it on two separate occasions. Though Craig liked normalcy, he felt a keen urge to help Kenny. He thought about his younger sister Ruby being in the same situation. Craig and Ruby didn’t get along that much, but they were brother and sister. Craig would always love her. He didn’t want to image her going through what Kenny described.

“A-are you sure about this, Craig?” Tweek whispered. The blonde grabbed Craig’s hand and gave it a tight, slightly painful, squeeze. Craig squeezed his boyfriend’s hand gently in return.

“It’ll be alright, honey,” Craig promised. Tweek, the significantly shorter of the two, leaned his head on Craig’s arm. Though they’d been dating for 5 years the action still made Craig’s heart race.

“Where are g-going?” Clyde said. In a much less romantic fashion, Clyde was hiding behind Bebe as she tried to comfort her own boyfriend. Craig shaker his head, smirking a bit. Clyde was such a wuss. It was part of the Donovan charm somehow.

“You’ll see,” Kenny said. Kenny had been deadpan to the point of warranting concern after his outburst about his curse. He’d said there was a certain spot he could explain it best. To be honest…Craig was actually kind of scared.

The first stop was Kenny’s house. He said he needed to grab something. The group entered the McCormick household. It was then that Craig realized what Kenny had said was definitely true. They all were skeptical, but after seeing an alive and well Karen McCormick eating off brand Lucky Charms they knew there were no lies in Kenny’s words.

The younger McCormick grinned at her brother. After seeing Craig and the others behind them she tilted her head in confusion. She seemed a little scared after spotting Clyde among the group.

Kenny smiled back at his little sister and patted her on the head.

“Hey Karen. How you feeling?” He asked.

“I’m good. A little tired.” She took another bit of her cereal. The cereal box itself seemed to sadly state “Lucky Horseshoes” on it. It looked sad and soggy. Craig made a mental note to have Ruby give Karen some boxes of real Lucky Charms. No kid should be forced to eat the of off brand cereal sold in South Park.

“I’ll be back home a little late tonight. Get some more rest after eating,” Kenny instructed. Kenny felt his sister’s forehead. Craig caught a flash of a frown on Kenny’s face. Kenny disappeared into his room after telling everyone to wait a minute.

Wendy sat in one of the folded chairs across from Karen. Kenny’s house was always very sad to look at. The inside was worse. Every utensil was plastic and every plate, cup, and bowl was paper. There were rips and stains on the couch and the table and chairs were foldable. All the beds were just mattresses.

“So Karen,” Wendy greeted. She smiled but Craig could tell she was a little freaked out to be talking to a girl who had been dead not even 24 hours ago. “You feeling okay? Are you sick?”

Karen shook her head and ate another spoonful of cereal.

“No. I dwon know why I hach ta schay wome todway,” the younger girl said with a mouthful. The girl swallowed and spoke more clearly this time. “Where are you all going?”

“Where just hanging out,” Wendy said. Craig found that he wished that was what they were actually doing. He didn’t like ambiguity.

Kenny came back out of his room. He kissed his younger sister on the head.

“Love you, Karen. Get some rest.” With that they all left the McCormick household.

…

Heidi Turner considered herself a good person. At least she tried to be. There was a dark time in her life when she’d been rather horrible. That side of her was dead now.

Literally.

KentheSlut: ge ur shoes on & come outside

HeidiHo: Excuse me?

KentheSlut: come out

Heidi stared at her phone. She hadn’t spoken to any in 3 days and suddenly Kenny was telling her to…well she wasn’t sure what he wanted. She didn’t expect him to contact her. Kyle, Stan, and Kenny. After Eric’s death those were the last 3 people she expected to talk to her. Yet they ended up being the first.

KiteElf: Don’t mind Kenny. He’s a little on edge.

GuitarHero: we do need you to come out

GuitarHero: and no we dont know why

Still confused, Heidi slipped on her converse, grabbed her hat and jacket, and walked outside after telling her parents she was going out for a walk.

A minute or two later she was greeted with Kyle, Stan, and Kenny. They forgot to tell her 5 other kids would be with them.

“What’s going on?” She asked.

“That’s a good question,” Craig answered. “Kenny?” Kenny tapped his foot on the pavement of Heidi’s driveway.

“Let’s get Leo,” Kenny finally said.   
———————————————————  
The walk to Butters’ house was painfully silent. Heidi was beginning to regret agreeing to come. No one explained anything to her. They just picked up Butters. The new member of the party got the same amount of info as Heidi did. That being no info.

At least everyone didn’t give Butters the silent treatment. They all said hi to him and Kenny talked up a storm with the shortest of the group. Heidi just followed behind them all silently.

After a few minutes of walking Kenny announced that they’d reach their destination. Much to Heidi’s horror the destination was the house of her former, now deceased boyfriend, Eric Cartman.

“Fuck. Fuck no,” Heidi said angrily. “I’m leaving!” Heidi turned on her heel but Kyle grabbed her arm.

“No, Heidi, come on,” The redhead pleaded.

“No, Kyle. I don’t know why any of you bothered to bring me here, I don’t know what we’re doing, but what I do know is that I’m leaving!”

“Whoa wait!” Kenny called out. “This is important. You all have to be here. This has nothing to do with Eric. It’s just coincidence. I swear.” Heidi begrudgingly agreed. It wasn’t that she was on bad terms with all of them. It’s more that she felt guilty and ashamed. Then not talking to her hadn’t helped.

Ms. Cartman happily allowed them all into her house. The woman told Heidi how happy she was to see her. That just made her more uncomfortable. Ms. Cartman was a very nice woman, but also a slut and a perfect pushover. She was a horrible parent even though she did try.

The group made their way into Cartman’s basement. It was still a disaster from all the role play down when they were kids. A combination of a superhero base, a police HQ, and had many other toys and props strewn about. A flood of memories hit Heidi.

She wanted to drown.

“Kyle you stand over here,” Kenny instructed. He had taken a few minutes to arrange the basement to look more like the superhero base. He’d also take out his Mysterion cowl and put it on.

“What the hell are we doing?” Kyle asked. He stood a few steps in front Kenny which was where Kenny told him to stand.

“You’ll see. Stan you go over there,” Kenny said.

In a few minutes they were all in position. Heidi, Wendy, Bebe, Craig, Tweek, and Bebe were all made to stand off to the side, but told to pay close attention.

“Now what?” Clyde asked.

“Now…?” Kenny signed “Try and fucking remember!” Before anyone could react to the sudden out burst, Kenny pulled a hand gun out from his jacket. In one fluid motion he shot himself in the head.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, the McCormick’s haven’t had the best of luck recently.


	7. Don’t Leave Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t Leave Me by Blink 182
> 
> Bonus points if you spot the lyric.
> 
> Does anyone know how to color text on this site?

Kenny McCormick didn’t like being serious. He liked being lighthearted and fun. Yesterday he had no opportunity for that. He felt bad. If his friends did remember then he’d be a total asshole. He wanted them to remember, though. He so badly wanted them to care. But, at the same time, he didn’t want them to. He did want them to hurt. His life was always a confusing mess, but in a few days that fact slammed into him like a speeding car. Which was no exaggeration considering he had been hit full force by a speeding car.

KentheSlut started a new chat

KentheSlut named the chat Kenny’s Bitches

KentheSlut: yo

Kenny didn’t expect the flood of replies. He did this everyday after he died and he always got the same “oh hey Kenny.” No one ever cared.

GuitarHero: JESUS FUCK DUDE!!

KiteElf: Oh my god, Kenny!!

SuperCraig: you’re alive?

CoffeeSpaz: GHJHDESFVHJYDD

Kenny felt a little…happy. Maybe it was sick to feel that way, but after years of no one caring it was nice for them finally to.

KingTaco: HOLY FUCK?!??11!?

TokenTaker: Everyone calm down

KingTaco: NO FUK U

TokenTaker: Clyde.

This was getting a little out of hand.

DramaQueen: why is everyone screaming?

KentheSlut: sup bebe?

DramaQueen: okay what the fuck?!

OfficialCallgirl: Token is right. We need to calm down. Remember yesterday?

ButterScotch: Kenny!! im so happy youre alive!!!

Kenny could hear Leo’s joyful voice in his head. He grinned a little, but his heart ached. Poor Leo. Kenny would never forgive himself for making his crush go through that.

KiteElf renamed chat Kenny’s A Bitch

HeidiHo: Yesterday? I feel like I missed an important detail somewhere.

KingTaco: THIS SLUT RIGHT HERE HAS SUPER FUCKING POWERS

TokenTaker: Clyde

TokenTaker: Buddy

TokenTaker: Turn the caps lock off

KingTaco: NO FUK U

DramaQueen: listen to token, babe.

KingTaco: *dramatic sigh* fine

SuperCraig: dont u fucking dare use *

KingTaco: *flips off supercraig*

SuperCraig: *strangles*

SuperCraig: wait

SuperCraig: fuck

KingTaco: HAHAHAHA I WIN!!!!

OfficialCallgirl: Boys…

DramaQueen: i know.

HeidiHo: Um…guys? Could I get a better explanation.

KentheSlut: i cant die

KentheSlut: now ppl remember

KentheSlut: dont know why

KentheSlut renamed the chat The Crazies

HeidiHo: Okay…

HeidiHo: Sorry, I’m a little freaked out.

KiteElf: It’s okay Heidi. We all are.

HeidiHo: Thanks, Kyle.

KentheSlut: evry1 come ovr

KentheSlut: now pls

…

Bebe got the requests at literally the exact same time  
  
Pm w/h KingTaco  
KingTaco: wanna go 2 Kenny’s together?

Pm w/h OfficialCallgirl  
OfficialCallgirl: Want to walk with me to Kenny’s?

Bebe was split. Walk with her boyfriend or with her best friend. When you’re a teen this is pretty damn important. Bebe liked Clyde. She honest to God did. It just wasn’t in the same way Clyde liked her. Liking him like that was impossible for the curly haired blonde. Bebe was…well…

Bebe was a lesbian

No one knew that of course. For most her life Bebe didn’t even know. When she realized it she refused to believe it. She was dating Clyde! How could possibly be a lesbian?

She came to terms with it last year. This made her life harder. One because she felt too guilty to dump Clyde. He was so nice and she felt like she’d been stringing him along their entire relationship. Two was because of her crush.

Wendy Testaburger.

Her best fucking friend.

Who crushes on their best friend?! This wasn’t a TV show or movie. You didn’t get with your best friend. Especially when your best friend is straight. Bebe had been distancing herself from Wendy because of this stupid crush. She missed her best friend, though.

DramaQueen: sorry clyde

DramaQueen: i already agreed to walk with wendy

KingTaco: oh okay

DramaQueen: im so sorry clyde

KingTaco: its ok

KingTaco: i get it best friends am i rite?

KingTaco: plus i got token

Why did Clyde have to be so nice?

Bebe told Wendy she’d walk with her. Wendy would be over at the Stevens’ residence soon. Bebe needed to get ready.

Pm w/h CoffeeSpaz

CoffeeSpaz: who ar u goin to kens w/h

Okay…so admittedly one other person knew Bebe’s secret. That person was Tweek. Somehow Bebe and Tweek just became great friends. They told each other things they told no one else. It was nice to have someone who didn’t judge

DramaQueen: wendy

CoffeeSpaz: oh

DramaQueen: it’s okay tweek

DramaQueen: it’s what I want

CoffeeSpaz: r u sure???

DramaQueen: promise

CoffeeSpaz: how’s it goin w/h wendy

CoffeeSpaz: u need 2 put urself out there

DramaQueen: that was almost good advice tweek

CoffeeSpaz: bebe

Bebe sighed. She knew Tweek was right. She couldn’t keep hiding. She was afraid to loose her best friend, though.

DramaQueen: im not stan

DramaQueen: im not the one that she thinks about

CoffeeSpaz: thts not tru

Change subject. Change subject. She really didn’t want to talk about this. She was now getting scared about walking with Wendy.

DramaQueen: now are you okay

DramaQueen: this must be freaking you out

CoffeeSpaz: GVJDDRRDVKOJFSSCHY

DramaQueen: thought so

Subject change success.

CoffeeSpaz: GHBCGDGVFYHJF

CoffeeSpaz: kennys my frend 

CoffeeSpaz: i knwn hm snce kindergarten

CoffeeSpaz: thats

CoffeeSpaz: thats

DramaQueen: 10 years?

CoffeeSpaz: YES

CoffeeSpaz: how ddnt i knw he was dying?!?!

DramaQueen: it’s okay tweek

DramaQueen: it’s your fault. none of us knew

CoffeeSpaz: tht makes me fll worse!!

CoffeeSpaz: i shld of knwn

CoffeeSpaz: but no he had 2 go thru it alne

DramaQueen: well now he doesn’t

DramaQueen: now you can be there for him

CoffeeSpaz:

CoffeeSpaz: rite rite

CoffeeSpaz: its OK

DramaQueen: exactly  
———————————————————  
Bebe had been waiting on her front porch for 10 minutes before Wendy came. She was nervous. She hadn’t been alone with Wendy in awhile. What were they going to talk about? Stan probably. Wendy always talked about Stan. Bebe was a little jealous of the linebacker. For Wendy’s sake she tried to never show a trace of that jealousy. Bebe wasn’t sure if they had gotten back together like they were supposed to. Eric’s death cut into that stupid on and off cycle that Bebe hated so much. What kind of friend was she to let Wendy go through that cycle?

“Earth to Bebe.” Bebe was jolted away from her thoughts. Wendy was waving a hand in front of the cheerleader’s face.

“Oh! Hi Wendy. Sorry…I’m a little out of it. The raven haired girl took a seat next to Bebe.

“Yeah. I get it. I had nightmares last night. Hard to get the image of a friend shooting themselves out of your head.” Bebe felt selfish. That’s what she should have been thinking about. Tweek and Wendy, too of her best friends, were traumatized and she was focused stupid unrequited love. She was a horrible person.

“Let’s head over to Heidi’s,” Wendy suggested, standing up. Bebe looked up in surprise.

“Heidi? Why?” Bebe couldn’t remember the last time she spoke to Heidi. The girl was a bit of a mess.

“Because I don’t want her to walk alone. She deserves some friends, especially after being dragged into whatever this all is,” Wendy explained. She seemed very intent on it. Bebe knew there was no use arguing. It’s not that Bebe disliked Heidi. They were just awkward around each other.

|  
Chat room: Blondies

ButterScotch: i’m here, Ken!

KentheSlut: knew youd get here 1st leo

CoffeeSpaz: its not a compitin is it?!

DramaQueen: no tweek

DramaQueen: it’s not a competition

KentheSlut: nope it is

KentheSlut: you loose tweek

DramaQueen: not funny

CoffeeSpaz: why did u shoot urself?!?!

ButterScotch: yeah ken

ButterScotch: i was scared id lost u

KentheSlut: im srry leo

KentheSlut: ill explain evrything  
|

 

|  
Chat room: Operation Style

SuperCraig added OfficialCallgirl

OfficialCallgirl: Okay…

OfficialCallgirl: What the fuck is this?

KingTaco: what the fuk craig?!

KingTaco: why’d u add wendy???

SuperCraig: becuz other than Kyle who knows Stan better than Wendy?

TokenTaker: That’s a good point

OfficialCallgirl: Wait

OfficialCallgirl: Style

OfficialCallgirl: Stan x Kyle

KentheSlut: ooooh

KentheSlut: aren’t you a smartie

KentheSlut sent 1 picture to group chat

KentheSlut: wrong photo

OfficialCallgirl: Oh gross!!

OfficialCallgirl: Why do you have a picture of your dick on your phone?!

KentheSlut: it’s not mine it’s craig’s

SuperCraig: bullshit!!

SuperCraig: fuck you Kenny! that isn’t mine Wendy. I have some decency

OfficialCallgirl: I can’t believe I’m even having this conversation.

KentheSlut: okay okay

KentheSlut: its mine

KentheSlut: big right?

RedDay: aaaaand this is why I don’t come on here often

OfficialCallgirl: Wait, Red?

OfficialCallgirl: Why are you here?

OfficialCallgirl: I thought you were in my side.

RedDay: you’re my friend wendy

RedDay: but they’d be really cute together

JediMaster: it’s true!

OfficialCallgirl: You’re here too Kevin?

JediMaster: yep

OfficialCallgirl: Next you’re going to tell me Bebe’s here

KingTaco: thats a good idea!!

OfficialCallgirl: Oh boy.

|

…

Wendy Testaburger was trying to get her shit together. There had been a crack team of kids she knows trying to get Stan and Kyle together. She had no clue what to think about that. Sure, Stan and Kyle had always been super close, but she could never image them being in a relationship.

“Something wrong?” Bebe asked. Wendy realized they’d been standing in front of Heidi’s door for about 5 minutes.

“Oh. Yeah. Everything’s fine,” Wendy said. She contemplated telling Bebe about Operation Style. Might as well. Bebe was her best friend who she told pretty much everything to. Plus Clyde was bound to add her. With that in mind, Wendy showed the group chat to Bebe.

“Holy fuck,” Bebe exclaimed. She laughed a little. "I can’t believe it. Are you mad?”

“No. I’m not dating Stan anymore. Never again. I guess they would make a cute couple.” Out of the corner of her eye, Wendy could have sworn Bebe peeled up a bit.

“You aren’t?”

“Oh my god! I forgot to tell you. I wanted to call quits with Stan for good but he did it first.”

“Wow. So you are officially single.” Before Wendy could respond Heidi opened her front door.

“Um. You guys have been standing in front of my door for 10 minutes and it’s creeping my dad out.”

“Oh sorry,” Wendy apologize. “We just wanted you to walk to Kenny’s with us.”

“Oh, um. Okay. Thank you.” The walk to Kenny’s was awkward in silent. Heidi trailed behind Wendy and Bebe. Wendy wanted to make conversation, but she had no idea what to talk about.

…

Butters was on his way over to Kenny’s house before Kenny had informed him to. The teen wanted to go comfort Karen who was a mess after finding out about her brother’s suicide. He promised her he’d get to her before lunch. It took some convincing his parents to let him go, but Butters was willing to sneak out if he had to.

Butters believed Kenny when he said he was immortal. Butters trusted Kenny more than anyone. He still wanted to be there for Karen if it wasn’t true and to greet Kenny if it was. Butters was ecstatic to learn Kenny was still alive. He wouldn’t know what to do if he lost Kenny for good. The thought terrified him. He tried not to dwindle on it.

Karen didn’t remember Kenny’s death according to Kenny. She happily went to school, kissing her older brother on the cheek when she left. As she left Butters entered. Butters was happy to give the younger girl a hug. Karen was like a younger sister to Butters, and sometimes she’d call him “brother” or “bro” like she did with Kenny. Being an only child this made Butters really glad.

Sleeping on the ripped up couch was Kevin McCormick. The oldest of the McCormick siblings. Kevin was 19 and had dropped out of school at 16. The McCormicks wouldn’t have had enough money to send him to college either way so he didn’t see a point in staying in school. He got a job at the gas station. It must have been his day off.

Aside from Kenny and Kevin, the house was empty. Kenny’s dad was most likely drinking at a bar. His mom worked as a dishwasher at Olive Garden and would also work at 7/11.

Kenny was in his room. Stereo blasting.

_“Karma police/arrest this man, he talks in maths…”_

Kenny would listen to the latest music around people but alone he’d listen to alternative rock and post-punk. Only Butters knew that, though. He didn’t get why Kenny hid it.

Butters wasn’t a big fan of the music Kenny listen to or the top 100. Butters liked video game soundtracks.

“Hey Ken!” He sat by Kenny’s feet. Kenny laid on his back with his feet flat on the bed. Butters rested his head on Kenny’s shins.

“Good to see you, Leo.” Kenny smiled. Butters always looked Kenny in the eye when Kenny spoke. Butters liked looking at the boy’s face. His sky blue eye, freckled cheeks and nose, crooked grin with a canine tooth missing. Everything about Kenny was pretty to Butters. From his little scars, to his button nose, to his long shaggy blonde hair.

He would miss every little detail of Kenny if he’d truly lost him. Butters heart ached just think about it.

_“This is what you get/ this is what you get/ this is what you get/ when you mess with us…”_

Butters hadn’t realized he’d been crying till Kenny hugged him. Butters dug his head into Kenny’s shoulder. He held tightly onto the disheveled teen like if he didn’t Kenny would just disappear.

_“Karma police/ I’ve given all I can, it’s not enough…”_

Butters wished this hug would last forever.

“I don’t want to lose you,” Butter sobbed. Kenny pulled Butters closer to him. Hugging him just as tight as Butters was holding him.

“I promise you never will. I swear.”

Kenny cupped Butters’ face in his hands and held him gently.

_“For a minute there/ I lost myself, I lost myself/ For a minute there/ I lost myself, I lost myself…”_

As the song faded to its end, Kenny kissed Butters softly. And for a moment, just a moment…

All felt right in the world.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I say things get gay I mean it.


	8. In Too Deep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan and Kyle are super best friends, Tweek need some coffee, and everything gets screwed up even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Too Deep by Sum 41
> 
> Spot the lyric

In Too Deep  
Stan and Kyle tied for second getting to Kenny’s house.

Meaning they tied for first on stumbling upon Kenny and Butters’ make out session.

While Butters was beyond embarrassed Kenny seemed rather proud. On getting with the guy he wanted. Stan realized that this meant Kenny’s long spiel about Butters would only amplify.

Awesome.

“So are we just waiting for everyone else now?” Stan said

_“Oooh, woo I’m a rebel just for kicks now/ I’ve been feeling it since 1966, now…”_

“And would you turn that garbage off?” Kenny grinned and Stan realized that he’d made a mistake. Kenny was quick to change the channel.

_“If you feel so filthy, so dirty, so fucked up/ if you feel so walked on, so painful, so pissed off/ you’re not the only one refusing to go down/ you’re not the only one, so get up…”_

Stan chucked a random shoe on Kenny’s floor at the radio before it hit the chorus.

“Hey! Careful dude, I only got one of those. My dad will kill me if a break it.” Kenny picked up the radio and plugged the cord back in, shutting it off before he did so.

“Sorry, dude,” Stan said. He scratched the back of his head. A dumb nervous habit. Kenny’s dad was an alcoholic and an angry drunk. The last thing Stan wanted was to get his friend in trouble.

“I thought you liked that song,” Kenny said. One thing that stick from Stan’s goth phase in 4th grade and emo phase in 6th was his taste in music. Post-grunge, alternative metal, hard rock. Stan was fluffy on the outside put his music taste was rock hard.

“I do, but not when you put it on to annoy me!” Kenny smirked. Butters’ face was still red and he was covering it with his hands.

“Your king has arrived!!” Clyde announced. Token trailed behind him. “Token do the thing.”

“I’m not doing the thing,” Token said, arms crossed.

“Pleeease?” Clyde begged. Token rolled his eyes. He put his hands in a weird position near his mouth and made a surprisingly realistic trumpet noise. Clyde stood in a superhero pose. Only Butters was polite enough to clap.

|  
Chatroom: Operation Style

KingTaco added DramaQueen

KingTaco sent 2 pictures

CoffeeSpaz: whn did u take those

SuperCraig: yeah

SuperCraig: that’s such a good shot and none of us noticed

KingTaco: what can i say

KingTaco: im just that talented

DramaQueen: aww

DramaQueen: they’re so cute together

JediMaster: I know right?!

OfficialCallgirl: How many people are in this chat?

ButterScotch: hi wendy!

ButterScotch: hi bebe!

DramaQueen: hey butters

OfficialCallgirl: Hi Butters.

SuperCraig: where are you guys?

SuperCraig: we’ve been waiting for like 20 minutes

JediMaster: ??

JediMaster: what are you guys doing?

KingTaco: just hanging out

KingTaco: u gotta be in the in kevin

JediMaster: aww

Redhead: you probably don’t want to know, kev

Redhead: whatever they do winds up getting someone killed

JediMaster: you changed your username??

Redhead: i got sick of kenny’s period jokes

KentheSlut: gosh darn  
|  
Why were girls so slow? Stan was growing impatient. Wendy was usually punctual. She always got mad at him for being a minute late. She was typically early to everything. Stan’s anger subsided. He hoped she was okay. Kyle must have noticed Stan’s worry. The redhead slipped his hand into Stan’s and squeezed it tight. For whatever reason this was comforting to Stan.

“You okay?” Kyle said. Kyle had a soft voice he put on to comfort people. “Is it Wendy?” Kyle’s soft voice broke a little on the last part.

“Yeah,” Stan lied. It was part of it, but something else was bothering him and he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. “I’ve just…” Stan scratched the back of his head. Kyle looked at him with wide green eyes. Kyle’s eyes reminded him of a puppy whenever Kyle was worried or upset.

“Just…”

“I’ve just been wondering why it took so long for this to die.”

“What do you mean.”

“I think me and Wendy were doomed from the start. I feel like we both wasted so much time on this. My time, her’s, your’s, everyone’s. I was so persistent about it. I feel like I wasted everyone’s time. I put you through my goth and emo bullshit. Sorry, dude. Sorry for being a waste of time.”

“You aren’t a waste of time, Stan.” Stan smiled at Kyle and the redhead smiled back. Stan rested his head on Kyle’s arm. Closing his eyes for a few moments. Stan could have sworn he saw someone point there phone at him, but he’d barely gotten any sleep last night. It was probably just his imagination.

…

Tweek was drinking the sad excuse for coffee the McCormicks owner when the girls showed up. Tweek was on his 3rd cup of coffee by 11 am. 2 less than usual. His nerves were shot.

Tweek couldn’t sleep at all last night. Every time he closed his eyes he replayed Kenny’s suicide in his head. The brains splattering the ground. The way Kenny’s body collapsed lifelessly on the floor. That scene would forever be scared into Tweek’s brain. Craig had stayed over in an attempt to get Tweek to calm down, but it was futile. Craig let Tweek ramble on his conspiracy theories, but Tweek was terrified. Usually when Craig listened to Tweek’s paranoid delusions it made him feel better. Today, with Kenny alive and well, Tweek felt a little better. Craig refusing to let go of his hand also helped to calm the spaz down.

“Sorry we’re late,” Wendy apologized. “We were…” Tweek noticed her eyes glance at Stan and Kyle before returning to the group at a whole. “We were dealing with some girl drama. You boys wouldn’t get it.”

“Wouldn’t want to,” Craig said. Deadpan as usual. Tweek secretly admired Craig’s ability to keep his cool. Something Tweek wished he could do on his own.

“Oh!” Clyde exclaimed in his usual cheery voice. Tweek was also jealous of how Clyde seemed to be so easily excitable. “Got any good gossip?” The brunette wiggled his eyebrows.

“That’s not your business, Clyde,” Bebe scolded.

“So no news from the rumor mill today?” Clyde gave his girlfriend a puppy dog look. Bebe miraculously was immune to the trick.

“None for you.” Clyde whimpered like a kick puppy.

“How are you Heidi?” Kyle asked. He was doing that soft voice he did when he wanted to comfort someone. Tweek was use to Kyle’s soothing voice. He was his 3rd go to when Craig and Bebe weren’t available.

“I’m good,” Heidi said.

Tweek knew Kyle and Heidi had a strange relationship. Kyle was very adamant about breaking up Heidi and Eric in 4th grade. He would go on tangents about how Heidi deserved better. It was true. Heidi was a nice girl and Eric was…well…Eric. He was manipulative. He tricked her into being a second him. In appearance and personality. Luckily she came to her senses and dumped the fatass for good. Sadly the damage had her done. She became rather reclusive. Guilty for being so cruel. No one blamed her. It didn’t come off that way. Everyone acted awkwardly around her. Her personality had done a 360. Sure it was for the better, but it was hard to get used to. Tweek felt bad for Heidi. She lost all her friends and though the girls tried to reach out Heidi wasn’t very trusting. Eric had tricked Heidi into eating all sorts of fast food, and was ruthless when it came to making fun of her weight. The fat hypocrite made Heidi feel terrible. She could never seemed to quite get the weight off. That is until she started a new diet. She lost a lot of weight. Too much. What everyone failed to realize was that Heidi’s new diet consisted of virtually no food. It wasn’t till she passed out in home till people began to realize something was up.

Tweek never spoke to her about it. He didn’t want to and he doubted she did either.

“So what’s going on exactly?” Heidi asked.

“Well,” Kenny began. “when we were playing superheroes in 4th grade I told you guys, well Kyle, Stan, Clyde, and Token to be exact, that I was immortal. They didn’t believe me so I shot myself in the head in attempt to get them to remember. They didn’t at the time, but now they do. I thought that repeating the act would get you all to remember the other times I died.”

“So you traumatized us all to prove a theory?” Craig asked.

“Yup.”

“Just making sure.”

“So what now?” Token said. Tweek was thinking the same thing.

“Now we find who killed my sister, why she came back, why you all remember me dying now and her death, and why I’m immortal.”

“H-how are we- agh- gonna d-do that?!” Tweek exclaimed. Kenny smirked like he as a plan.

“No clue.”

He didn’t.

…

|  
Chatroom: Coon & Friends

AlienBoy: How’s earth?

KiteElf: The same.

GuitarHero: eric cartman is dead

GuitarHero: he was killed

AlienBoy: I know

TokenTaker: How

AlienBoy: I’m Mint Berry Crunch!!

KingTaco: fuk u bradley

AlienBoy: oh hi Clyde!

Timuh: TIMMAY

AlienBoy: hello to you too Timmy

Timuh: TIMMY

|

Chatroom: The Crazies

GrandWizard added GrandWizard

GrandWizard: so the fags got together and started a fag club

SuperCraig: ERIC?!!

CoffeeSpaz:GBHDTYHGDD

GrandWizard: I’m angry with you all

GrandWizard: You will pay

GrandWizard: And it will be painful

TokenTaker: Who’s sick idea of a joke is this

GrandWizard: It’s no joke Token

GrandWizard: I’m dead and you’re all at fault

GrandWizard: I’ll get back at you all

GrandWizard: Pick you off one by one

GrandWizard: Eventually you’ll all pay

GrandWizard renamed chat Victims List

GrandWizard left chat  
|


	9. She Hates Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clyde is trying to be a good boyfriend, Ike and Ruby are bad siblings, Token is regretting his life choices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She Hates Me by Puddle of Mudd

“You’re having a party?” Clyde cocked an eyebrow at his best friend. “After what just happened?” They just had been threatened by a vengeful spirit of a psychopath and Token wanted to have a party. Wasn’t he supposed to be the rational one.

“I’m not having a party. Craig randomly decided 5 minutes ago that he wanted to have one,” Token explained. That made more sense. “Plus I think it’s a good idea. It’s a nice way to get our minds off whatever the hell has been going on.

The 12 teens sat in a circle on Kenny McCormick’s bed room floor. All of them were a little freaked out by the supposed ghost of the late Eric Cartman threatening to kill them.

“Let’s think about this rationally,” Kyle said. “This is probably just someone who hacked Eric’s account and is messing with us.” Clyde doubted that. Fucked up stuff happened so often he was beginning to regret not forwarding that chain message he got a week ago.

“Gnnh! We’re all gonna die!” Tweek shouted. He grabbed his hair tight and pulled it. Craig wrapped an arm around his boyfriend.

“Shh, honey, it’s alright. Kyle’s right. It’s ridiculous.”

“Ggn!”

“Okay okay,” Kenny said. “Why don’t we back track for a moment. Try to figure out why you remember my death and the possibility we’re dealing with a poltergeist.” Clyde wasn’t liking this. Clyde scooted closer to his girlfriend Bebe. She waited a few moments before scooting a little farther away from him and looked away. Clyde frowned a little. It was a little thing, but for awhile it felt like she kept distancing himself from him. He was afraid she’d break up with him. He kept trying to figure out what he’s done wrong. There were a lot of things, but he didn’t know what exactly pushed her away so much. He needed to figure it out. He didn’t want to lose her. Now more than ever.

“How exactly do we do that? “ Token asked. Kenny played with the strings of his parka.

“Er, well, let’s think about. We could start with my deaths. Some of you have killed me before.” For whatever reason that didn’t surprise Clyde much. Maybe it was because of all the stupid shit they’d all done as kids. Maybe it was the fact that one of Kenny’s friends had actually murdered a kid’s parents. Stan’s gang always got themselves into deadly messes.

“Really? Some of us have killed you?” Bebe said. Kenny nodded, not phased at the fact he was sitting in a room with some of his apparent killers.

“You’ve actually killed me thrice, Bebe,” Kenny said nonchalantly. Bebe didn’t take it the same way. She jolted, straightening her back. Eyes widened.

“I-I have?!” Bebe said, sounding rather horrified at that.

“Yeah. We’re cool though,” Jenny told her. Clyde tried pulling Bebe gently closer to him in a way to comfort her. She hesitated and Clyde’s heart sank, fortunately she leaned into him. Head on his shoulder. Maybe he could still fix things. Maybe he hadn’t completely fucked up.

“When did I…” Bebe spoke softly, not finishing the thought.

“Well the first time was in 4th grade when the boys and girls fought because of the school’s failed attempt at sex ed. You through a boomerang at me. Got stuck in my head. Died pretty quick,” Kenny explained. Clyde was shocked at how casual Kenny was being. Had he really gotten so used to it. Clyde found it kinda creepy.

“Second was also in 4th grade when you tried to shoot Wendy.”

“B-but I missed. We were at the top of the school...”

“Missed and hit me in the head while I was eating dinner. Died instantly.” Bebe went pale.

“How do you even know that?” Wendy asked.

“I always see a replay of my death after I die. Kinda like a short film. I always know how and why I die,” Kenny explained.

“That sounds horrible,” Butters said. He placed his hand on Kenny’s.

“It is Leo, there’s no popcorn. None.”

“What about the third time?” Bebe asked, though it didn’t seem like she really wanted to know. Clyde held her closer.

“The third time was in 6th grade was when you tried to drop a light on Kyle’s head and it fell on me instead. That one did hurt. A lot actually.”

“What?” Bebe and Kyle said in unison.

“Gee,” Craig added. “What’s with you and attempting to murder people?” Clyde knew that it was just a joke, but it rattled Bebe more than Clyde expected.

“I-I don’t know okay?! I don’t know why I did it. I don’t even remember doing it!” Bebe shouted.

“Craig, apologize!” Tweek said, elbowing his boyfriend. Craig rubbed his side. Tweek usually yelled but it was never angry. They all knew that you didn’t argue with Tweek when he was angry.

“Uh, um…” Craig looked at tweek wHo elbowed him again. A little lighter this time. “Er…sorry Bebe. My bad.”

“Okay, yeah yeah. Whatever,” Kenny said. He then grinned and clapped his hands together. “Alrighty! Who’s ready to join a cult?”

…  
|  
Chatroom: The Better Siblings

CanadianKnight: Do you guys get the homework. Did we even learn this in class?

WonderRuby: just write down a bunch of random #s

WonderRuby: Mrs. Geller doesnt actually check

BunnyLover: doesn’t kyle help you with your hw?

CanadianKnight: Yeah, but he’d say he’d be out late. Dunno why.

BunnyLover: oh, kenny said he’d be out late too

WonderRuby: so did Craig

BunnyLover: i don’t think it’s a good idea. it’s kenny’s turn to make dinner tonight

BunnyLover: i’m afraid what my dad will do

WonderRuby: it’ll be okay Karen

WonderRuby: our brothers are stupid but they tend to know how to get out of dangerous situations

CanadianKnight: I wonder what they’re ding.

BunnyLover: ding?

CanadianKnight: Doing.

BunnyLover: oh

WonderRuby: whatever they’re doing i bet you one of them will end up in the hospital

WonderRuby: i bet you $10 it’s Clyde

CanadianKnight: $20 dollars says it’s Stan

WonderRuby: you’re on Broflovski

BunnyLover: why do you guys have to bet on everything?  
|

  
The South Park cemetery was one of the oldest things in town. If you were born in South Park you’d die in South Park. It was one of those types of towns. The graveyard was huge and, of course, unkempt. No one gave a shit about the dead in South Park. No one seemed to give a shit about living either.

Token, like most kids in South Park, wanted out as soon as possible. They wanted to leave this stupid red neck mountain and go well, anywhere else. Staring at all these graves covered in grass and dust made Token shiver. Most didn’t get out of South Park. Token might as well mark his grave while he’s here.

Why did he always let himself get dragged into these things? “Let’s join a cult!”. Yep, no reason to argue with that.

Ugh.

It seemed to Token like he regretted all his life choices at least once a day.

“What are we looking for exactly?” Clyde asked. He was hiding behind Bebe and gripping her arm. She’d gotten used to Clyde’s fear of the supernatural. He didn’t like graveyards because of the spiritual activity. Token called it stupid, Clyde said Token could be ghost bait than.

“The entrance,” Kenny said He held Butters hand. Butters also looked rather scared.

“The entrance to what?” All couples were getting in their turn. This time it was Craig who spoke up. He held Tweek’s hand. Tweek was shaking more than usual. Eyes darting around to each grave and every little noise. Token felt bad for the jittery blonde.

Token also felt a little left out without his girlfriend Nichole with him. Granted he was a good boyfriend who wouldn’t take his girlfriend on a cult hunting mission. Token found that thinking about Nichole calmed his nerves a bit. The two had begun officially dating dating in 7th grade. In 8th they’d even won “Cutest Couple”. Which Token would forever hold over Clyde’s head. Clyde was confident that if he didn’t win cutest couple he’d at least win “Cutest Boy”. Except he didn’t. Surprisingly Kyle won that title. No, Clyde won the title of “Most Likely To Cry At A Movie”. Though Clyde claimed to take offense, Token was well aware that the title was quite fitting. As best friends since 3rd grade him and Clyde saw almost all movies together. Clyde cried during pretty much every single one.

As Token relived some pleasant old memories, he spotted a grave with a familiar name on it. A less pleasant memory popped into the boy’s head.

“Er, Wendy. Can I ask you something?” Token said.

“Yeah, what is it?” Wendy said. Token hesitated. Trying to see if he remembering things wrong.

“Well…did you kill our substitute teacher Ms. Ellen in 3rd grade.” Wendy looked surprised for a moment but her expression quickly changed. Her brow furrowed and her eyes went dark. Token felt like he’d just signed his death warrant. He’d never seen her look so angry, except for when she was especially mad at Eric.

“More like prostitute teacher,” she muttered, hands in fists. Then as if snapping out of trance, her eyes went back to normal and so did her expression.

“Hmm? What was the question? … Why is everyone staring at me?”

“Did you, um, kill Ms. Ellen?” Token repeated.  
  
“What? Don’t be rid-wait did I?” Token was beginning to regret even asking. They had enough to deal with right now.

“You killed Ms.Ellen?” Stan exclaimed.

“I…think?” Wendy said.

“I think I may have helped,” Bebe said.

“I don’t think you can answer ‘Did you kill this person’ with a ‘maybe’,” Stan said.

“This is turning out to be a nice evening,” Kenny said.

“Dude, it’s 12:37 in the afternoon.”

“Found it!” Kyle exclaimed. He was leaning on Stan and looking at his phone. The redhead had his head resting on top of Stan’s. Token slightly wished for Clyde’s sneaky photo taking skills, but he was glad he didn’t because it was, admittedly, a little creepy.

“Found what?” Stan asked.

“An article from South Park News about Ms. Ellen’s death.”

“What’s it say?” Wendy asked. Kyle scanned over his phone. Wendy tried peaking over to see first hand but Kyle was too tall.

“ ‘Ms.Ellen was a substitute teacher for Mr.Garrison’s third grade class. It was alleged that she was a spy with many murders under her belt and was having an affair with Saddam Hussein. It’s suggested that the Iraqi soldiers who killed her were hired by Saddam Hussein because of her poor blowjob skills’, “ Kyle read.

“Well the South Park News is t exactly a reliable source,” Token said. “What’s that article even called?”

“Ummmm.” Kyle scrolled to the top of the article. He frowned. “ ‘Prostitute Teacher Killed For Poor BJ’s’. “ The teens all groaned in unison.

“What is wrong with this town?” Stan said, pinching the bridge of his noise.

“Let’s just keep going,” Craig said. “I don’t want to linger on whatever the hell we’re even trying to figure out.”

After that shit got sour. The day seemed to just get worse. The graveyard was huge due to pretty much all South Park citizens being buried in it. Due to it being so uncared for they had a bad trip. Tweek fell into a grave, Stan got hit by a tree branch, Clyde accidentally swallowed a fly (Token didn’t know how and he didn’t want to know), and Heidi had the same luck as Tweek. That luck being falling into a grave. This time they had trouble getting her out.

“Aren’t graves only supposed to be 6ft deep?” Heidi shouted up at them.

“Yeah, but it’s South Park,” Kenny called back. “No one actually gives a fuck. Plus I think this might be the cult’s grave.”

“Could you guys just please help me out of here?!” Token looked down the grave. It did look ridiculously deep.

“How do we do that exactly?” Stan asked.

“Human ladder?” Craig suggested.

That’s how Token ended up dangling down a hole with only Craig’s hand keeping him from falling. Kyle was grabbing on to Token’s other hand. Token was beginning to regret agreeing to help.

“Almost…there…,” Kyle said. “Craig! Lean over a bit more.”

“Oh yeah sure! Want me to drop you too?” The stoic teen said.

“Just scoot forward. It’s not difficult.”

“I’m already close to falling over the edge you idiot.”

“Aw, come on fellas. Don’t fight,” Butters piped up. Token tried to low Kyle down, he managed to pull Craig toward a little.”

“Alright…That should work,” Kyle said. Token watched with relief as Heidi managed to get to Kyle’s hand when she went on her tip toes. Just as she grabbed his his hand there was a loud boom, the ground gave out like two doors swinging open. Craig let go of Token’s hand out of shock. Token knew he didn’t mean it, but Craig just sent Token, Kyle, and Heidi falling into their probable deaths.


	10. Fashionably Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heidi, Kyle, and Token are alive, who knows if that’ll stay that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fashionably Late by Falling In Reverse

When Heidi woke up her entire body ached. There was an eerie darkness looming over her in both feeling and reality. Dread filled her and she couldn’t see a thing. The last thing she remembered was falling into a grave while looking for Kenny’s cult, and then falling again when Kyle, Token, and Craig tried to help her out.

Heidi managed to sit up. The action caused the aching to double, but she knew if she laid back down she wouldn’t get up.

“Heidi?”

“Kyle?”

“Heidi! Are you alright?”

“Yeah. A little sore but alright.” That’s what she thought. In reality her ankle was bending in a way a body part shouldn’t bend. She’ll figure that out later. “You alright, Kyle?”

“Yeah I’m okay. Just a little scratched up. Heidi let out a sigh of relief. She didn’t really know what she’d actually do if anything happened to Kyle.

“I’m okay too, thanks for asking.”

“Token!!” Heidi and Kyle shouted in unison.

“Oh, so you remember,” The other boy said. Heidi heard him stand up to his feet. He was a few feet away from her on her left. Kyle got up too. He was a little closer in front of her. Heidi attempted to get up as well but an unbearable pain shot in her leg.

“GAH!” There was a cracking sound. Heidi’s ankle was officially shattered.

“Holy fuck!” Token exclaimed. A bright light shined in Heidi’s face. She put her hands up to block it. The light came from the flashlight of Kyle’s phone. The two boys raced over to her side. Kyle shined the light right her ankle, she didn’t want to look.

“Oh that’s fucked up, dude,” Kyle said. Now she really didn’t want to look.

“Uh…yeah. I wouldn’t stand up if I were you,” Token added. Heidi looked up at the darkness this fell from.

“Wasn’t planning on it.”

…

So that night was turning into even more of a disaster than anyone possible thought. Butters looked down the grave with a quest stomach.

That was a long fall.

A really long fall.

Kenny squeezed his hand. Probably an attempt to make Butters feel better. It didn’t.

“Craig! Why the hell did you let go, dude?!” Stan exclaimed. Craig still looked surprised at what had just happened. Butters was too. It didn’t take long for Craig to snap back to his typical self.

“I didn’t do it on purpose! I got surprised,” he said.

“It’s alright,” Tweek said, taking Craig’s hand into his. “We know you didn’t mean to.” Butters was happy that the two didn’t seem mad at each other anymore

“ ‘parentlly Stan didn’t get the memo,” Craig grumbled. “Don’t talk that crap, Stan!” Stan and Craig always had this childish feud going on between their two groups since 3rd or 4th grade. Butters didn’t understand it but he was usually dragged into it.

“We don’t have time to argue right now, we have to make sure that Kyle, Token and Heidi are okay,” Wendy said.

“Er, how do we do that exactly?” Bebe asked. She leaned over to look down the cliff. Butters didn’t dare do so. He was utterly terrified of heights.

“Human ladder?” Craig said.

“Not sure that’s gonna work this time,” Kenny said.

“It didn’t work the first time!” Stan shouted. Wendy placed a hand gently on Stan’s arm.

“It’ll be alright, Stan,” she said. Stan flung his hands into the air.

“Alright? My best friend just fell into a 30 feet hole!”

“And Token, and Heidi,” Clyde added.

“And I’m sure it’s not 30 feet,” Bebe said.

“Uh, gnnh! Kenny? Didn’t you say this was the c-cult’s grave,” Tweek asked. Butters completely forgot about that. Suddenly any part of him that was feeling better got dragged back down to panic again.

“Uh…yeah,” Kenny said. It was the first time that night Butters saw Kenny look nervous.

“What does that mean exactly?” Stan asked.

“I, um, I’m not sure exactly.”

“Kenny?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you have any clue what we were supposed to be doing.”

“…”

“Kenny.”

“That is a very good question Stan.”

“KENNY!”

…

|

Pm w/h KiteElf

CanadianKnight: Hey, are you coming home soon? Mom’s getting worried.

CanadianKnight: Also, is Stan in the hospital? I have a bet with Ruby.

CanadianKnight: Kyle?

CanadianKnight: Kyle?

CanadianKnight: This isn’t funny you know.

CanadianKnight: Kyle? C’mon answer.

CanadianKnight: Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle

|

  
Garrett was an average guy with an average life. For the most part that is. You see, Garrett’s family was in a cult. They didn’t seem to realize it and Garrett couldn’t escape it.

He was on patrol outside the cult’s HQ when he heard the crash. Those were probably the sacrifices. Was it sacrifice night? Oh well. Garrett had a job to do. That job being to kidnap whatever idiotic teen fell into the grave. Garrett was pretty confident that being in a cult made him smarter than most.

Garrett approached the kids, shovel at the ready. There were 3 teens. Best catch in weeks. To Garrett’s surprised the kids weren’t drunk. They must just be stupid than.

It didn’t take long for them to notice Garrett. Like usual they were scared to see him. Garrett slammed his shovel into the head of the sole girl. He then hit the black boy and then the ginger boy. Despite the teens not being drunk it was still incredibly easy to kidnap them. He called over the other guard, Danny. Garrett took the two boys and Danny took the girl. They both chatted at the convenience of the situation. Three teens. That meant they could relax for the rest of tonight and the next two nights. Garrett didn’t care about how those kids got there. Why would he care? Well, it was time to kill one of these kids. No need to bother with conversation.


	11. 12 Feet Deep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wild Kevin Stoley appears and more crap happens to our main characters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 12 Feet Deep by The Front Bottoms

Kevin Stoley wasn’t a big fan of pizza bagels. He’d had them for dinner 6 nights in a row. His mom gave up making or at least helping Kevin with dinner when he was 8. He was left making due with that he had, and right now he just had pizza bagels. He marked a day for grocery shopping on the calendar. It was a magnetic calendar that he relied on heavily. It was placed full view on the fridge. Surrounding it were a bunch of Star Wars magnets his dad had bought him when he was 6.

Kevin’s dad was…well he wasn’t around. Kevin wasn’t sure where he went. His dad left for work when Kevin was 10 and never came back. Kevin vaguely remembered there being lots of police and lots of confusing questions. His dad just disappeared. No note or anything.

Kevin didn’t like to think about it.

Kevin placed the pizza bagels in the microwave and set it for 3 minutes. He sat at the kitchen table and laid his head on the counter. He almost fell asleep but was awakened by the beep of the microwave. As he went to get his food his phone buzzed.

PM w/Redhead

Redhead: at supermarket

Redhead: need anything?

JediMaster: why r u grocery shopping at 5:30?

Redhead: my mom just wanted me to get a few things

Redhead: you’ve been eating the same junk for like a week now

Redhead: so might as well get you something while I’m here

JediMaster: I haven’t been eating the same junk

Redhead: I bet you’re putting a pizza bagel right now

Kevin put the pizza bagel down on his plate.

JediMaster: you’ll never know!

Redhead: I’m guessing I’m right then

JediMaster: …

JediMaster: …yeah…

Redhead: think of things you want and send me the list

Redhead: and there better be fruit on that list

JediMaster: you’re not my mom

Redhead: no I’m your girlfriend

Redhead: now get to writing  
———————————————————  
Kevin had finished his pizza bagels when Red came over. Kevin knew he was a slow eater, but damn that was quick. Red did the secret knock Kevin had taught her. She told him that having a secret knock was dorky, but it made Kevin feel cool. Like he was a secret agent.

Kevin threw away his paper plate into the trash and went to answer the door. His mom was asleep upstairs so he needed to be quick so that Red wouldn’t ring the doorbell. Kevin opened the door.

Then he screamed.

…

When Heidi woke up she was strapped to a giant stone slab. She was getting really tired of getting knocked out and waking up in a strange place. What was she even doing here? Where was she.

Then she remembered. And she really wish she hadn’t.

She’d been kidnapped by Kenny’s stupid cult, hasn’t she? God why did she decide to agree to this? What was wrong with her. Sure she had been getting lonely and sick, but there must have been a safer group of people to hang out with.

But of course she had to hang out with Eric’s friends. And now she going to die. Fantastic.

Her wrists and ankles were bound by tight rope to wooden posts. The rope dug into her skin. She bit back tears. The ankle she had broken felt like shard of glass were being stabbed into it. She just wanted to go home.

She managed to move her head enough to see Kyle and Token tied up and unconscious. Without thinking she began to shout.

“K-Kyle! Kyle and Token wake up! Please!” She struggled against her bonds but it only seemed to tighten them.

Oh god. She was going to die.

…

When she woke up this morning Wendy didn’t think she’d be spending most her day in a graveyard. Or infiltrating a cult. What was he life?

“Are you sure this will work, gnn?!” Tweek said. The poor boy was shaking a lot more than usual. He was helping to tie gother rope they’d found in the grave keeper’s shed.

“Yeah Tweek,” Kenny said. “Everything will be alright. If we get to them in time that is.”

“Gah! What if, what if they slice off their hands? Oh god! What if they get eaten by giant spiders?!” Tweek exclaimed. “What if we get eaten by giant spiders as we go down? What if the cult is made up of giant spiders!” The imagination on this kid. Wendy felt like Tweek could probably write a really good book series if he wasn’t so paranoid. Once he got going it didn’t seem possible to calm him down. Now that she though about it, was Tweek ever calm? Probably not with all the coffee he drank. She would be surprised if his blood was more coffee than actual blood.

“I think we’ve got it,” Stan said as he tightened the last knot. Wendy looked closely at the boys’ creation. A bunch of old ropes tied together. All worn and frayed. This wasn’t gonna end well.

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Wendy said.

“Well do you have any other ideas?” Craig grumbled.

“Craig, be nice!” Tweek scolded.

“Sorry sorry.”

Kenny stuck a wooden stake into the ground and stomped on it. He then tied the rope around it.

“Okay, one of us should stay up here incase anything goes wrong,” Kenny said. Wendy didn’t expect such a reasonable from Kenny. All his comments tended to be rather…inappropriate and uncalled for.

“We could draw lots,” Clyde suggested.

“Butters you stay,” Kenny decided.

“Wha…what?” Butters said.

“You stay up here and if we aren’t out in an hour go get help.”

“I-I dunno, Ken.” Butters rubbed his knuckles together. Wendy noticed it was a habit he’d kept since elementary school, like how Stan pinched the bridge of his nose when he got irritated.

“I’d feel rather bad if you fellas went down there yourselves and got hurt and I was up here,” Butters said.

“It’s alright Butters, no one is gonna get mad at you for saving us when this fails miserably,” Stan said.

“Would it kill you to have some optimism?” Bebe said. Stan shrugged.

“Who knows? Possibly.” Even though she knew he was joking, Wendy worried about Stan sometimes. His negativity could suck him up into a black hole if he wasn’t careful.

“I don’t know if we should all go down?” Craig piped up right before Kenny made the climb down. The disheveled blonde smirked.

“Chickening out on us, Tucker?” Kenny remarked. Craig glared.

“No. I just think it’d be suspicious if 7 teenager drop down a whole. It’d be easier to move if there were less of us.”

“No need to make excuses,” Kenny said. “It’s okay to be a pussy sometimes.”

“I will push you down that hole, McCormick.” Craig steppes forward, Clyde was quick to place a hand in front of the taller boy to stop him from making good on his threat.

“Chill, dude,” Clyde said. “No use in fighting right now.” Craig muttered something to Clyde and let up. Clyde just nodded.

After some discussing it was decided that Bebe, Butters, and Tweek would stay up top. Stan, Kenny, Craig, Clyde, and Wendy would go save Kyle, Token, and Heidi. Wendy had feeling of dread knotting in her stomach. She carefully climbed down the rope. Every small creak made heart jump. Clyde was right above her. He wasn’t very athletic. Wendy began wondering if they’d be able to make it back up the rope.  
———————————————————  
When they all got to the bottom Wendy spotted three phones laying in the dirt. She clicked on the first one and found a rather cute screen saver of Token and Nichole, the next one had a screen saver of Kyle and Stan at some New Years eve party a few years ago. They were so small and it was a cute picture. The last phone was Heidi’s. Her screen saver was a picture of an empty parking lot. Wendy thought to herself how strange that was. For a teenage girl’s phone background. Stan took Kyle’s phone to see if Kyle left any clues. Clyde took Tokens and decided to take a bunch of selfies. Wendy was surprised to find that Heidi’s phone had no password or any sort of security on it. Despite feeling guilty, Wendy looked through Heidi’s phone. She wasn’t sure as to why. The background on the open screen was a sweeping shot from their 8th grade graduation. Wendy was able to spot herself in the crowd. It was a really good picture. Wendy was curious to whether or not Heidi had actual taken it.

Heidi’s phone was rather empty, a find my friends app, a color by numbers app, and an apple with different sorts of puzzles on it. No social media apps aside from the one all kids and teens used to chat. Even more strange was that Heidi only had 5 pictures on her phone. Every Wendy knew had a ridiculous amount. Bebe had over 1,000. Most of the time Wendy didn’t even know why she had most of the photos she did.

“Damn it,” Stan muttered. Wendy placed a hand on his shoulder.

“What’s the matter?” Stan tilted the phone to show Wendy the photo. Kyle’s phone screen was cracked making it a little hard to make out the photo. It was a picture that had Token laying off to the side unconscious and a knocked out Heidi being picked up by some man in a white cloak. On the back of the cloak was a black symbol that Wendy couldn’t really make out.

“Find anything?” Kenny asked. Stan showed him the picture. Kenny snatched the phone from Stan and looked at the picture. He frowned but quickly snapped back into his usual nonchalant smile.

“Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news,” Kenny said.

“What’s the good news?”

“Wait!” Clyde interrupted. “You say the bad news first and then the good news. That way you end on a happy note.” Clyde smiled his goofy smile.

“Well…,” Kenny said “bad news is that they were probably kidnapped for a sacrificial ritual.”

“And what’s the good new?” Craig asked.

“The good news is that we’re on the right track to finding the cult.” The 5 teens went silent for a moment.

“Great,” Craig muttered.

…

The large room was just stone. It had large pillars surrounding Heidi. The worst was the stone statue of a horrible beast that was in front of her. The same beast was also painted above head. So if she wanted to relax her read she had to stare into its bloodthirsty eyes.

It was driving Heidi mad. She was alone with this creature while Kyle and Token were still out cold. Who were they still asleep? Perhaps they were drugged? The thought made Heidi shiver. She felt so alone. She’d been tied to the stone slab for hours. She spent most of that time crying. Why’d she have to be so weak? Why’d she always need to rely on others to save her. Why couldn’t she for once save herself. It was always a pity party for her. Every part of her ached. She felt like she was boots made of concrete.

“Hurry on with it. We don’t want to waste a sacrifice.” Heidi’s eyes widened with hurry when she heard the gruff voice of man fill the room. The cult was entering. This was it wasn’t?

“Once the clock strikes 6 we shall offer another soul to the eternal god of night, winter, chaos, and misfortune, Crnobog!” The same man announced.

“Um, is there possibly a way we could talk things out without murder? We’re sorry we, uh, trespassed on your organization,” Heidi said, trying to stop or at least delay whatever strange ritual she found herself in.

“We don’t need your input,” the leader said.

“Is there a reason you feel the need to please a god?” Heidi tried. “Does it make you happy? Truly? Do you find it rewarding? There are better ways to feel good about yourself that don’t involve hurting other people. I can help you find what speaks to you.” The cult went quiet for a moment and all looked at each other. Heidi’s heart was pounding in her ears. Maybe she was reaching through to them. Maybe she could help them. Do some good in the world.

A member of cult walked closer to Heidi. Heidi could kind of make out the faces of the cult members closer to her. One of them looked familiar, but that was ridiculous. Her eyes were playing tricks on her. The cult member walked up to her left side. They looked like a boy not too much older than herself.

“I’m not trying to trick you or anything. I mean it. There’s a whole world out there that you’re missing. There’s good-GAH!” The boy took hold of the rope tied around Heidi’s ankle and tugged it back as hard as he could. He then did it again. And the again.

“Stop! Please! I’m sorry! Sto-mmph!!” Another member tied a cloth around Heidi’s mouth so that Heidi had to bite into it. Now she could only make muffled sounds. How did things go so wrong so quickly? She thought maybe she could help her former friends. Maybe they didn’t have to be former anymore. Kyle seemed to welcome her. Wendy and Bebe seemed to not mind. She just wanted to do good. She just wanted to help people.

“Wake up the other two. It’ll be funny,” one cult member suggested.

“Hah. Yeah that would be funny. Good idea. Danny! Garrett! Go chuck water in there faces or throw a bucket at them or something.” The two who Heidi presumed were Danny and Garret did both. They splashed Kyle and Token with water. As the boys began to stir, one of the men threw the pail at them. They woke up fully after that.

“Wha…” Token looked around the catacombs before fully processing where they were. Kyle seemed to realize it at the same time.

“What the fuck?!” The red headed shouted. Either Danny or Garrett (Heidi didn’t know) hit Kyle on the with the pail.

“Eh, shut up,” they said.

“Okay!” The cult leader said. “Who wants to prep the sacrifice? Come on? Anyone?” There was muttering among the crowd. Then, 5 hands shot up into the air.

“Suck ups,” the boy to Heidi’s left said. The girl on her right giggled.

“Just right amount!” The cult leader said clapping his hand. “We will leave you to it. Come on everyone.” Right before all the other members left the leader turned to face the 5 who would remain. “You have exactly 10 minutes. If you don’t finish by then…well,” the leader grinned “well you remember what happened.” Then he shut the door. The remaining members stared at the door in silence for a minute.

One of them walked over to Heidi and reached towards her. She looked away and flinched, trying to prepare herself for whatever they were going to do to her.

“Don’t touch her!” Kyle shouted as he struggled against the rope holding him and Token captive.

“Aww.” One of the cultists, who sounded like a girl. The other member next to her gave her a gentle nudge. “Oh right! Sorry.” She apologized. Her voice sounded familiar…

The cultist who Kyle yelled at untied the cloth around Heidi’s mouth and threw it to the ground.

“As much as I’d love to hear one of your fantastic sermons, we don’t have a lot of time,” The cultist said, pulling back his hood. Heidi’s eyes widened and he laughed.

“Kenny?”

“Yep, Kenny “Mac daddy” McCormick at your service.”

“Untie me so I can hit him,” Kyle said. Pulling back his hood, Stan untied Kyle and Token.

“Please do,” Stan said. The rest took there hoods off.

“Ay! We can’t all take out hood off,” Kenny said. “What if they can back.”

“Shot not putting the hood back on,” Clyde exclaimed, touching a finger to the top of his nose. They all just looked at him.

“What? These things are itchy,” he said.

“Yeah, Clyde. I’m sure they’re super itchy,” Token said, making a point to show he was holding his rope burned wrist. Clyde laughed nervously.

“Sorry, my bad.” He then put the hood back on. Stan and Craig did the same. Kenny and Wendy remained with Their hoods off. Kyle quickly made his way to Heidi’s side, helping Stan to untie her. It felt so good to have her wrist free. Kyle was untying her broken ankle when he asked if she was okay.

“I’m fine. Just a little shaken.”

“Just a little?” Stan said.

“Hey I’m alive,” Heidi reasoned.

“That’s petty optimistic of you,” Wendy said. She placed a hand on Heidi’s shoulder and grinned. Heidi smiled back a little. In all honesty. She was hurting all over and she was terrified.

“Sorry for dropping you down a hole,” Craig said awkwardly. She never heard Craig speak with much emotion. She felt a little bad that for one of the times he showed emotion it was guilt.

“It’s my fault really,” Heidi assured him. “I’m the one who fell into a huge grave in broad day light. This is really my fault.” She just came to that realization. How dumb of her. She thought she was helping but really she’d put them into this mess.  
…

  
|  
PM w/Timmuh

AlienBoy: Hey Timmy

Timmuh: Timmay!

AlienBoy: How are you

Timmuh: gbnftu&’gf

AlienBoy: Wow, really?

Timmuh: TIMM-MY

AlienBoy: That’s fantastic, Timmy

AlienBoy: I’m coming for a visit soon.

Timmuh: AGGNDHJTG$!;6$$

AlienBoy: I can’t wait to see you too.  
|

Stan wasn’t surprised to find himself running for his life today. He did that on almost an every other day basis when he was younger. If anything he was feeling nostalgic at that moment.

They were caught last second before exiting the cults underground hideout. They tried to sneak past a room that the cultists were in. Then Clyde sneezed. Now they were running for lives. Thanks Clyde.

“Uh, guys?” Craig said.

“What?” Token said.

“How exactly are we all going to get up that rope before the cult catches up to us? And how exactly are we going to get Heidi up?”

“That’s…a good question.”

“There’s a loose boulder or something around 20 feet away from the rope. We could try to cave it in?” Stan suggested.

“I think we need a plan that’s less flimsy,” Stan said.

“I could run back and hold off the cult,” Kenny offered.

“They’ll kill you!” Heidi said.

“Immortality remember?” Stan found that to be an incredibly stupid idea, but Kenny was immortal and it was the best shot they had.

“Okay, so Kenny goes back and buys us some time. That doesn’t answer how we get Heidi up,” Craig said. Stan felt bad that part of him just wanted to just leave her. He really just wanted Kyle getting to safety, but that was difficult with Kyle holding Heidi.

“I can climb,” Heidi said. Everyone gave her a funny look.

“Um, isn’t your foot broken?” Clyde asked.

“It’s fine. I don’t need any help. I can handle myself.”

…

Bebe was watching Butters watch closely. She checked it every minute or so. She knew she was being ridiculous. They’d be alright. Somehow.

Tweek spent his time secure the rope and the wood it was attached to. He went back to the shed on his own to get more supplies and ended up strengthening the rope. He’d even grabbed gloves that were hidden in the shed and made it so that it was easier for the three of them to pull the others up.

“I didn’t know you were resourceful, Tweek,” Bebe said as she checked Butters’ watch for what was probably the 100th time that night.

“Well yeah, I’m not actually helpless. I can do things on my own.” Tweek hammered the wood so loudly with a concrete block that it made Butters jump.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Bebe said. She was taken back by the harshness of the twitchy blonde’s tone. Tweek sighed sadly. He turned to face her. His eyes tired with deep purple bags underneath them like always.

“Do you think I’m vulnerable, Bebe?” Tweek asked.

“Of course not!” she said immediately. “We both know you’re perfectly capable of handling yourself.”

“Yeah, Tweek,” Butters said. He was playing with the dead grass like a little kid. “I think you’re fine just the way you are.” Tweek stayed silent for a moment and looked away.

“…Thanks.” Tweek sat down in front of the other two blondes, pulled his knees up to his chest and then wrapped his arms arounds his legs.

“What’s a matter?” Butters asked, tilting his head a little with innocent curiosity that only toddlers and Butters were capable of.

“I just…I feel like ever since Craig and I started dating people think I’m dependent on him. Like I need him for everything.” Tweek was shaking less. He seemed to shake less when he truly got to vent. “But I’m not! I can kick Craig’s ass if I wanted to. I have before. So why do people think I need him for everything? I don’t! I’m perfectly capable by myself-gah!” He was grabbing his hair tightly, a habit he could never seem to break. Bebe was surprised Tweek had gone bald by now. The again, Tweek had always had thick knotty hair. It wouldn’t be easy to make a dent in it.

Bebe wasn’t sure what to say. She was guilty for thinking Tweek was defenseless herself. She didn’t think it often, but it seemed that way sometimes. She mentally kicked herself. She should know better.

“Listen, Tweek, relationships are a tricky thing. Part of it is trusting each other and able to rely on each other, but there’s also not being to needy and being independent. What’s important is that you can be independent and that you can do things without Craig. There isn’t anything wrong with needing him at times though,” Bebe explained. Years of playing relationship expert in middle school may be paying off. Maybe she should start her business up again.

“Like how Clyde is sensitive and Bebe can cheer him up, and like how Bebe has Clyde when she wants to hang around with someone close to her,” Butters added.

“Uh…right,” Bebe agreed. She knew Butters was just trying to help, but she always got confused when thinking of Clyde. She loved Clyde, and he loved her. It just…wasn’t the same type of love. Oh she didn’t know!

“I may need Clyde sometimes, but I know how to handle myself.”

“I-gnnh-guess you’re right. I think I’m going to talk to talk to Craig about it!”

“RUN!” Clyde seemed to just pop out of nowhere. He slid to a stop when he got to the three blondes. He helped Bebe to her feet. “Come on, we gotta go and start the car.” Though the cemetery was a short walk away from the general neighborhood, Token thought to take his car since things usually went wrong and they’d probably have to get to the hospital. Unsurprisingly it ended up being very useful.

“Clyde-gnn! W-what happened? Is Craig okay?”

“I’m fine Tweek thanks for asking,” Clyde said.

“Clyde, I told you to start the car,” Token shouted as he got out of the hole.

“Right, right,” Clyde said. He took Bebe’s hand and smiled at her, his eyes bright despite the situation. “C’mon, let’s get the car ready to make a break for it.” Bebe, hesitated. She wanted to know if everyone else was okay. Token was here, that’s a good sign. But still…

Kyle was next to get out and Stan came shortly after. Kyle helped Stan up. Once they were both on solid ground Stan hugged Kyle like the redhead would disappear if Stan didn’t hold him tight enough. It was something Clyde would get all puppy dog eyes over. Him and Token has gone off to start the car right before Kyle got up. She was imagining how fun his reaction would be when she told him. Clyde had a love of all things romance as much as he’d deny it.

“I’m so glad you aren’t dead, dude,” Stan said, head resting on Kyle’s shoulder.

“I’m not dying till you do, man.”

Craig was next out of the pit. He looked a little more disheveled than everyone else. Before anyone could ask why he explained.

“Pushing…boulders… and climbing…huff…rope is no…easy feat,” He panted.

“You’re the one who said you could do it yourself,” Stan said. Craig responded by flipping Stan off. There was a large bit of silence as they waited for Wendy, Kenny, and Heidi to come up.

“Are they alright?” Butters asked. Bebe was thinking the same thing. It came as a great relief when Wendy climbed out.

“Is Heidi getting up okay?” Kyle asked. Bebe took a moment to process that question.

“Wait. You made her climb?” Bebe said.

“She said she could,” Craig said, shrugging.

“You also said you could push a boulder and you look like crap.”

“Okay, rude.” Maybe that was a little harsh, but it was still stupid. Heidi wasn’t exactly strong. She couldn’t get up the rope in gym class. Then again only Bebe knew that because Red, who had the same gym class as Heidi, told her.

“You could’ve tied her to the rope and we could have pulled her up. She’s as heavy as a bundle of twigs.” That wasn’t much of an exaggeration. Heidi was unhealthy skinny. It was a huge 180 from what Eric had done to her when they were all younger. It made Bebe wonder what was worse. Being disgustingly overweight or disturbingly underweight. She didn’t want to know.

  
Stan and Kyle began to grab the rope and tug it up to give Heidi and Kenny a hand. The boys had trouble and Wendy needed to help them out. The three ended up pulling the entire rope from the hole to her to Heidi.

“S-sorry,” Heidi said, panting more than Craig had been. “I got a little dizzy.”

“Where’s Kenny?” Butters asked. Stan and Kyle looked at each other.

“He’ll be back tomorrow,” Stan said.

“Yeah, Butters. He’ll be fine. Just gotta wait a little,” Kyle added. Butters looked at the ground eyes watery.

“Oh…okay.” Heidi placed a hand on Butters’ shoulder when he looked up at her she smiled softly.

“It’ll be alright.”

…

The ride to the hospital was a fuzzy memory at best. Butters could hear all the words and see the things around them, but none of it processed. Sure, Kenny would be back tomorrow, but that didn’t change the fact that he was dead today. He’d held back the cult. Butters mind went off like a rocket. Had they hurt him? Made him suffer? Hopefully it was a quick, painless death. Heidi let Butters hold her hand on the car. Well, she didn’t tell him he could, but she had t reacted when he had. Butters just wanted to hold something.

Everyone who’s gone down the hole looked beat. They were all covered in dirt and Stan, Wendy, Clyde, and Craig were wearing weird outfits that creeped Butters out. Kyle, Heidi, and Token’s outfits weren’t much better. They’d all had a piece of the shirt taken. The bottom of Token’s shirt had be haphazardly cute to his belly button, Kyle had his left sleeve seemingly ripped right off, and Heidi had the side of her shirt cut half way and then ripped so the right side of her belly showed. Token complained about his shirt and was ticked off that Kyle got only a sleeve ripped off. Kyle said that he’d gotten the most of his clothing ripped (which was true), Clyde cried about having to leave his favorite jacket behind, then Bebe pointed out he had another jacket exactly like it, but the one Clyde left had been signed it something, Craig said that the whole day was a waste of time that meant nothing. Stan and Kyle both fell asleep using each other as a pillow. Heidi and Tweek had window seats and both just stared out the window the entire time. Not reacting to whatever the conversation was.

Heidi had passed out when they got to the hospital. The teens’ excuse was that they’d been filming a movie. The adults didn’t give a crap. They never did. They just told them all to beat it once Heidi was checked in.

Butters spent almost the entire night staring at a picture he had on his phone of him, Kenny, Kyle, Stan, and Eric. It was from 5th grade when the class had gone to a mine and the 5 of them got into an abandoned mine cart for whatever stupid reason. The cart ended up going down the tracks. 6 near death experiences later they got back to the class as they were boarding the buss. The boys were covered in soot and cuts. The yearbook committee took the picture and put it in the yearbook. The girl was nice enough to take picture on Butters’ phone two. Stan and Kyle frowned in both photos, Eric was glaring at Butters in the second. Kenny smiled for the one on Butters’ phone.

Butters was restless. He wanted to see Kenny alive and well. He didn’t want to wait to make sure his friend was okay. Or…boyfriend? Butters’ face went hot and he buried it into his pillow. He squeezed it to his chest. He felt all jittery. He couldn’t sleep out of excitement and fear. It was 11:00 when his phone buzzed.

Chatroom: Victims

GrandWizard added GrandWizard

GrandWizard renamed chat Hit-List

GrandWizard: 1/17

GrandWizard left the chat

Butters didn’t sleep that night.


	12. Dumb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor Kevin, poor Red, poor Clyde, poor Kyle, poor Stan, poor Craig.
> 
> Everyone’s just having a sucky day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dumb by Nirvana

Rebecca “Red” Tucker was a lot of things. Craig Tucker’s cousin, the girl who dyed Tweek’s hair rainbow while he was asleep, head cheerleader, the girl who “accidentally” kicked Eric Cartman in the face during a pep rally. Something Red wasn’t: a murderer.

 

She wasn’t sure what happened exactly. She’d been out grocery shopping and decided to get Kevin some stuff as well.

 

Kevin...

 

Red began dating officially Kevin in 6th grade. Kevin was a geek, but a funny and nice geek. His home life wasn’t so great. He didn’t talk about it much.

 

They cared about each other. Red would never hurt Kevin. Yet here she was in the town jail. The details were fuzzy. She couldn’t remember what happened or how it happened. On second she was in the grocery store and the next she was sitting on Kevin’s living room carpet with blood on her hands (figuratively and physically). She had she done? Was it even her? It couldn’t be. She’d never do this. Not to anyone and especially not Kevin. She couldn’t get his face out of her head. His blank eye stare. His body had been warm and still bleeding. Red still felt the helplessness. What did you do? His neck cuts and she’d been holding the knife. The neighbors heard screaming and fighting. The checked it out to find Red shaking on the Stoley living room floor. All Red could ask was; Why?

 

…

 

Clyde Donovan was at Bebe’s house when he got the news. He’d been in a good mood since she’d invited him over. For a while Clyde always felt like he was the only one who wanted to hang out. He was glad to be over at Bebe’s and hanging out like when they were younger. Clyde was letting Bebe practice nail painting design on his fingers. He thought it made him look fancy. He’d get made fun of because of this, so he’d wipe them off before school. Since it was Saturday, Clyde could look stylish for a few extra day.

 

“So instead of breaking up with him like a normal person Annie decided to cheat on him with Allen.”

 

“Allen? Of all people?”

 

“That’s not the point Clyde-keep your hand still-the point is that Annie cheated onConnor with his friend. They’re both asses.”

 

“Yeah, asses. Huge asses.”

 

“I feel like you aren’t talking this seriously.”

 

“What? I am talking this seriously-can you make the next color red? It’ll match with my jacket-it’s just kinda ridiculous.

 

“Do you want to hear the story or not?”

 

“Of course. Go on.”

 

“Good. Now, Annie made it so that Allen would catch them-“

 

“Ooooh. That bitch.”

 

“I know.”

 

“So what did Allen do?”

 

“He punched Connor square in the nose.”

 

“Seriously?!”

 

“He broke Connor’s nose!”

 

“That is hilarious.”

 

“Really Clyde?”

 

“Sorry sorry.”

 

“Okay, I’m done with your right hand.”

 

Clyde looked proudly at his hand, admiring his freshly painted nails.

 

“Fancy?” Bebe asked. Clyde grinned and blew on his nails to dry them faster.

 

“Very fancy.”

 

“I hate this town/it’s so washed up/and all my friends/don’t give a fuck”

 

“Who is it?” Bebe asked as Clyde answered his cellphone. She was starting to get to work on his left hand.

 

“It’s-“

 

“WHAT THE FUCK, CLYDE?!”

 

“Craig…” the yell had caused Clyde to jump, which mad Bebe accidentally spill nail polish on his wrist. She gently wiped it off and Clyde, being easily ticklish,tried not to laugh.

 

“What up, Craig?”

 

"Have you seriously not checked your fucking phone once today?!”

 

“Oh fuck. I forgot to turn my notifications on. You know my sister makes me turn them off every night.”

 

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

 

“You knew that!”Craig sighed loudly into the phone. Clyde could image the other boy playing with the puff ball on his old hat like he always did when he was frustrated.

 

“Check your goddamn phone!” Craig then proceeded to hang up. Clyde just froze with his phone next to his ear.

 

“Uh…Bebe?” Clyde said after a moment ofsuffocating silence.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Would you happen to have had your notifications on?” The blonde shook her head, making her curls bounce with the action. Clyde didn’t know why, but seeing Bebe’s hair bounce calmed him down for whatever strange reason.

 

“I shut them off when you came over so we wouldn’t get interrupted,” Bebe explained. Clyde grinned at her softly.

 

“That’s sweet of you, babe.”Clyde checked his chats…his phone had blown up.

 

Chatroom: Hit List

 

11:00pm yesterday:

 

GrandWizard:1/17

 

GrandWizard left the conversation

 

Today: 12:00am

 

GuitarHero:okay

 

GuitarHero: what the literal fuck?!

 

KiteElf: Guys…check the news “South Park News: High Schooler Killed By Lover?”

 

Clyde clicked on the link Kyle had sent. A yearbook photo of Kevin Stoley from 7th grade was at the top of the article. Clyde began to read. He thought he was about to throw up.

 

Clyde and Kevin had become close in 5th grade. Kevin introduced Clyde to the universe of Star Wars comics. Kevin was a nice kid who Clyde could be a geek with. To Clyde, Kevin was the brother he’d never had and could never get. Clyde broke out in tears as he saw the photo of Kevin’s body from the crime scene. He tried wiping his eyes with his sleeve. Bebe hugged him tightly. He sobbed into her shoulder. She softly rubbed his back. He’d told Bebe that when he was younger he’d get nightmares and wake up crying. Clyde’s mom would come into his room during these times and rub Clyde’s back while singing him a song.

 

“Hush-a-bye, don't you cry/ Go to sleepy little baby/ When you wake/you shall have/All the pretty little horses”

 

Clyde laughed softly into Bebe’s shoulder. He pulled away and wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

 

“Do you think I’m 5, Bebe?” It was a little hypocritical to say since he’d been crying like he was 5. Bebe smiles softly and took his hands.

 

“I just wanted to see if it’d help.” Clyde squeezed her hands.

 

“It does,” Clyde said. “I just…I lost my mom because of my stupidity, I’ve lost Kevin too now. I don’t want to lose you too, Bebe. I know I’m not a tough guy, but I…I love you.” Bebe hesitated for a moment, for a horrific moment Clyde thought she’d pull away. Oh god, did he go to far? Why was he such an idiot?!

 

“I love you too.” For a moment, to Clyde, all was right in the world.”

 

…

 

“Did you-?”

 

“NO! God, Craig! I thought you of all people would have faith in me.”

 

“I do, Red. It’s just…the evidence is pretty stacked against you.” Craig watched uncomfortably as his cousin put her face in her hands. She was shaking. Craig was too to a less noticeable extent. Craig wanted to believe Red. He really did. They were more like siblings than cousins, but it was hard to ignore what the neighbors had saw. A couple saw her sitting on the floor, knife in hand. Everyone heard the scream. Red was seen entering Kevin’s house. Craig didn’t know if he could trust her story. Even if he wanted to.

 

“It’s not me, Craig. I don’t know who it was, but it wasn’t me. I need help. Please.”

 

…

 

Kyle sat on Stan’s bed with his back leaning against the wall. He was drawing in a sketchbook he rarely used outside of his room. Stan was the only person who had any idea that Kyle drew. Kyle was embarrassed about his art, but it made him happy to see how excited Stan got when Kyle told him he could see his art.

 

“In a world of nothing/ You made me feel something/ when I was numb/ you made me hurt/ without you/ life would better/ but without you/ I couldn’t go on”

 

Stan read the lyrics off of his journal. He laying on his bed; using Kyle’s thighs as pillows. Kyle only showed Stan his art, and Stan only showed Kyle his lyrics. Kyle put down his pencil and played with Stan’s soft hair.

 

“Do you think it’s bad? Stupid?” Stan asked. Kyle smiled softly.

 

“No. I think it’s nice. A little sad though.” They almost always were. Kyle didn’t ask. Didn’t question it. If this was how Stan got out his feelings who was Kyle to judge? It wasn’t like Kyle’s artwork was always cheerful.

 

“I guess I’m just a little down,” Stan said. “Things are kinda crazy. We almost died yesterday. For pretty much no reason.” Stan’s tone switched to frustration on the last line.

 

“Well I think I almost died a little more than you did,” Kyle said. Stan grabbed his hat from the ground and covered his face with it.

 

“It’s not a competition, Kyle.”

 

“It is and I’m winning.” Stan smiled a little bit; which relieved Kyle.

 

“I’m not a rich kid/ maybe that’s a good thing/ ain’t got shit/ but I got this-“

 

Stan answered his phone. He put it on speaker like he always did when he answered his phone.

 

“What’s up Kenny?”

 

“My threatening to collapse ceiling.”

 

“Haha.”

 

“You sound more cynical than usual. Impressive. I take it you heard the news.”

 

“What news?”

 

“About Kevin.”

 

“Stoley?”

 

“Yeah. You didn’t hear? He was murdered. Oh! And you won’t believe who did it!”

 

“Why do you sound so excited it?” Kyle asked.

 

“Is that you Kyle. Aww. You guys fucked and didn’t include me? I’m offended.”

 

“Kenny this is serious,” Kyle said.

 

“Right right, sorry.”

 

“I’m sure you are.”

 

“You can’t see it but I’m sticking my tongue out at you.”

 

“I’m sure you are.”

 

“Anywaaaaay. Kevin Stoley was killed by Red Tucker. Throat slit and everything!”

 

“Kenny, someone is dead. Our friend is dead. Stop acting like it’s someone cheating on someone.”

 

After all that had been happening; Kyle was rather jaded to murderer. It sickened him, but after seeing the dead body of his friends multiple times it was harder to truly react how you’d expect. Plus, Kyle didn’t know Kevin that well. They never really talked. Kyle saw him almost everyday. He was a nice kid that just went about his business. Him being dead felt like a strange blip. Like it didn’t matter…yet it did? It was confusing. Kyle didn’t know how to describe it.

 

“I’m not excited about death. I’m just in a good mood, or maybe I’m just happy. I think I’m just happy.”

 

“I’ll tell Kevin for you,” Stan said. “Oh wait. I can’t.”

 

“Yep, you’re definitely more cynical than usual.”

 

“Goodbye, Kenny”

 

“Dude, really? I just called.”

 

“Goodbye.”

 

“Bu-“ Stan hung up his phone. Still holding it he covered his eyes with his arm. Sighing, he dropped his phone on the carpet he’s had since elementary school.

 

“You alright?” Kyle asked. Concern bubbled in his school. He didn’t want Stan to relapse. Not again.

 

“I’m just…sad. I think I’m just sad.” Stan laid on his so that he was facing Kyle’s direction. The smaller boy began using Kyle’s stomach as a pillow. Kyle smoothed back Stan’s always partially neat hair.

 

Stan always seemed sad nowadays. It was painful to see your best friend go through everyday like a zombie. Like he was decaying and could fall apart at any second.

 

And Kyle didn’t know how to put him back together.

 


	13. Strong As An Oak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, it’s a new chapter. I wasn’t expecting such a thing.

 

CoffeeSpaz: well??

 

DramaQueen: I couldn’t do it

 

CoffeeSpaz: what happened?!?

 

DramaQueen: I was going to

 

DramaQueen: I really was

 

DramaQueen: But craig called about…you know

 

CoffeeSpaz: rite rite

 

DramaQueen: and him and kevin were close and he said he didn’t want to lose me and

 

DramaQueen: I couldn’t do it tweek

 

DramaQueen: I just couldn’t do it

|

…

Despite recent events, Wendy was actually having a rather nice day. She and her mom made chocolate chip cookies, she’d gotten to put up the photos in her room that had been scattered around, and she had time to relax for the first time in what had to be months. Things were going rather well at that moment. For once in her life Wendy felt content. She was laying on her bed feeling more relax than she thought possible.

 

“Wendy, Stan is here,” Mrs.Testaburger announced. As much a Wendy cared about Stan; she’d prefer he’d just go away. She wanted to spend the rest of her day laying in bed forgetting anyone else existed.

 

“I’m in my room,” Wendy begrudgingly replied. She listened closely as Stan’s familiar footsteps made they’re way to her room. Since they weren’t dating anymore Wendy felt way less stressed to look nice for Stan.

 

“Wendy, holy fuck!!!” Wendy jolted up straight in her bed. Stan stood in her door frame panting like he bolted from his house to hers.

 

“Are you o-“

 

“I KISSED KYLE!”

 

“Oh.” Then she fully processed what he said. “Oh!” Stan slammed the door shut and shook Wendy by her shoulders.

 

“WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?!” Wendy still wasn’t sure exactly how to react to any of this. How exactly does one appropriately react to their ex-boyfriend kissing his best friend?

 

“Calm down, Stan. You’re getting yourself way too worked up,” Wendy said.Stan took a deep breath. The two just looked at each other. Both seemed equally unsure of what to do next.

 

“How the hell am I going to talk to him again? How the hell do I explain myself. ‘Uh, sorry I kissed you. No homo???’ Why is everything so fucked?”

 

“How did it even happen?” Wendy asked. She ignored the stupid ‘no homo’ things boys said whenever they showed any emotion to a guy friend. In this case, it was a little too much emotion for that to ever work.

 

Stan sat on her bed and covered his face with his hands.

 

“I don’t even know. I was just feeling awful after everything and he was trying to cheer me up and I got caught up in the moment and I wasn’t thinking and I just…I just. I don’t know.”

 

“And how did Kyle react?”

 

“I don’t know. I was scared. He looked surprised. I ran here before I could say anything. I think I just need a moment to ca-“ Stan was cut off by his phone buzzing. He looked down at it.

 

Then he chucked it onto Wendy’s beanbag chair that was across the room.

 

“It’s Kyle,” Stan exclaimed. “fuck fuck fuck fuck.” Wendy got up and retrieved Stan’s phone.

 

Private message w/h KiteElf

 

KiteElf: Stan?

 

KiteElf: I just want you to know I’m not mad.

 

KiteElf: I just want to talk to you.

 

“I think you should go and talk to him,” Wendy suggested. She knew how Stan worked. She knew there was no way he was just going to talk to Kyle. Stan was terrible with confrontation. Kyle knew this too. She had to convince Stan to talk to Kyle. But she also wasn’t really in the mood.

 

“Why don’t you talk to him for me,” Stan said. Wendy frowned.

 

“You’re talking to Kyle.”

 

…

“Are you sure we should still hold a party?” Craig looked over at his boyfriend. Tweek was unpacking some of the groceries while simultaneously taking constant sips from his thermal.

 

“Yeah, it’ll help lighten everyone up. Things have been too down lately.” Craig explained. He put the snacks in the cabinet. Tweek walked over to pass

 

“Are you sure you wanna-gnn-do this?” Tweekpersisted. “Don’t you want to take some time off. I’m sure Token would have it.” Craig pushed back Tweek’s wild blonde hair and kissed the shorter boy’s forehead. He grinned at Tweek.

 

“It’s fine honey. Tomorrow will be fun. I promise.”

 

…

|

Chatroom: Craig and those guys

 

ComedyKing: Sup, fellas?

 

SuperCraig: aye,Jimmy

 

SuperCraig: how’s florida treating you

 

ComedyKing: Same old same old. Hot as hell compared to the Colorado tundra.

 

TokenTaker: Better there than here at the moment.

 

ComedyKing: I know, Clyde told me all about.

 

ComedyKing: Glad I’m not stuck in the Hunger Games like you guys.

 

TokenTaker:Ha. Ha.

|

Token’s mom senses were tingling.

 

It sounded stupid, but Token actual seemed to have this maternal 6th sense for his friends. Even with Jimmy across the country, Token still senses when something was up. Unfortunately, just like a spidey sense, Token had no idea what was up. What the danger was. It was probably Clyde though. It was almost always Clyde. Tweek was a close second.

 

“Follow me, Follow me

No matter what I say they follow me

Going broke just to pay to follow me

Gotta drink the Kool Aid to follow me

Follow me, Follow me”

 

As if one cue, Token’s phone rang. He answered it immediately. Mom senses to concerned to check the caller.

 

“Hey Token. Buuudy.” Token frowned.

 

“Stan?”

 

“Yes?” Stan never called Token. Not unless he wanted something. Nothing materialistic like some people. Stan just had a tendency to drag everyone into shitty decisions.

 

“I need you to talk to Kyle for me.” Yeah, Token was not being dragged into this.

 

“Couldn’t you have ask literally anyone else.” Stan went silent for half a second.

 

“Well yes-“

 

“Then go ask someone else.” Token hung up. If you humored Stan or any of his friends for two seconds you’d be half way across the country because you accidentally started a war between moose and Canadians and you’d somehow become the prime minister of a small island off the coast of Japan before you could blink.

 

“Please, Token? Come on. Aren’t we buds?” Token hung up before he caved in and asked why Stan even needed him to talk to Kyle. Token wanted 5 moments to pretend everything wasn’t going to shit.

 

Just as Token had done so his doorbell rang. Once again his mom senses were tingling. Yeah he was probably gonna regret this.

 

Fortunately for Token Clyde was the one behind the door.

 

Unfortunately he was crying.

 

Token had expected as much. Clyde lost a close friend. Before he knew it him and Clyde were sitting in Token’s kitchen drinking hot chocolate. By this point Clyde had calmed down a little.

 

“I feel like I could have prevented it somehow. Like I coulda done something,” The brunette said into his mug. Usually Clyde would have downed almost the entire drink, but he’d barely taken a sip.

 

“I’m sorry, Clyde. There wasn’t anything you could do. We were all the way across town. We didn’t know,” Token said. “We were also pretty preoccupied with keeping ourselves alive as it was. As it still is.”

 

“Do you think Eric is really behind all this?” Clyde asked. Token thought about it. It didn’t seem that crazy. Not in South Park. It was still impossible. The dead stayed dead.

 

Except for Kenny, that is.

 

Token paused. Kenny could come back to life. Was it too far of stretch to say it could happen to other people too? But how? Why? Even if Eric was alive it still didn’t explain anything.

 

Clyde’s phone broke Token away from his train of thought. It probably Stan who was also gonna beg Clyde to talk to Kyle, for whatever insane reason. Clyde reached for the phone, but it seemed to answer itself.

 

“Hello?” The voice from the phone was crackly and distorted. Despite that it was still apparent the speaker was panicked. The voice spoke again.

 

“Clyde?” The distortion was letting up a little bit. Clyde picked up the phone. All the screen indicated was that it was an unknown caller.

 

Token and Clyde exchanged glances. Token shook his head no but Clyde picked up the phone anyways.

 

“Uh, who is this?” Clyde asked.

 

“It’s me-stol-help” The connection was cutting out.

 

“Who?”

 

“Kevin Stoley-please-I don’t-scared”

 

Clyde didn’t say anything. Poor kid was on the verge of tears. Token took the phone.

 

“Is this a prank?” He said. If it was someone was gonna get their teeth knocked out.

 

“No-I need-“ there was a loud clash. “Help.” Then the caller hung up.


	14. When It Rains It Pours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The other half of the call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When It Rains It Pours by Twiddle

Things were not going well for Kevin Stoley. For starters, he might be dead.

 

Might be.

 

He wasn’t sure WHAT he was. Or where he was for that matter. He couldn’t even remember what had happened. He was home. Red was getting him groceries. He ate his hot pockets, and…something. There was a gap in his memory that would explain everything. Probably.

 

Kevin was in some sort of cave. He used his flashlight on his phone to light the way.The ground was yet and there were all sorts of clusters of crystals on the ceiling. It was actually kinda peaceful. The crystals were beautiful. Sadly Kevin was too terrified to care about his surrounding.

 

Then a spark of hope hit Kevin. WiFi. He got a bar. He immediately called the last person he’d called. It was Clyde. Kevin had become good friends with Clyde over the years. They talked often. Kevin wasn’t thinking about friendship right now, through. He was scared out of his mind and needed help.

 

The phone picked up almost immediately.

 

“Hello?” Kevin stuttered. “Clyde?” The voice on the other line was weird. Like someone put a voice distorter on.

 

“Uh, who is this?” It said.

 

It’s me! Kevin Stoley. I need help.”

 

“Who?” Kevin’s heart sank. Was it the wrong number? He checked. Nope. Maybe it was because of the bad connection. He had to make this quick.

 

“I’m Kevin Stoley. Please, Clyde! I don’t know where I am. I’m scared.”

 

“Is this a prank?” It was a new voice. It was hard to tell who it was with the distortion. Kevin prayed they wouldn’t think this wasn’t a prank. It wasn’t. He wanted to go home. It’s all he wanted.

 

“No, this isn’t a prank. I need-“ A loud crashing sound filled the cave. The ground beneath Kevin shook, making the boy fall on his back. The wind was knocked of him. He gasped for air. He’d hit his head hard on the rocky floor. Despite having trouble sleeping he knew his vision was beginning to blurry. “Help.” He begged. The call cut out.

 

Oh dear god.

 

He was going to die alone.


	15. Migraine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig gets ready to throw a party. Stan and Kyle talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has been telling me that they enjoy this fic and want more or it. I appreciate your patience.

Craig Tucker liked hosting parties. Which was strange considering he found most people incredibly annoying. Craig wasn’t sure why he liked it exactly, it kinda made him feel like a king. The only real difficult parts were setting up, getting Ruby to stay out of the house, and cleaning up. That’s what always made Token the better party thrower. Token had a huge house and plenty of money to spend, he had no siblings, and he had a cleaning crew on call. Craig still enjoyed throwing parties than going to them, so he was stubborn about being the host. 

 

Craig was more focused on getting food for his party so the chaos of everything else in his life had faded to the back of his mind.

 

“Be sure to save snacks for me,” Ruby said. She had gone food shopping with Craig and was helping him fill the groceries into his car. “And don’t let anyone touch the birthday cake Oreos.” Craig grimaced.

 

“I can’t control how much drunk and high teenagers eat. Also, it’s Oreos. That is such a stoner snack. It’s not my fault if they get eaten,” Craig told her. Ruby gave her brother the finger without even bothering to look at him.

 

After they finished putting the groceries and shopping cart away the siblings drove back home. The car was mostly filled with loud music. Ruby had a tendency to change the channel every other song, much to Craig’s annoyance.

 

“Where are you staying tonight?” Craig asked at one of the stoplights.

 

“Hannah’s.” Their parents were out in New Orleans for some reason Craig couldn’t remember. They wouldn’t be home for another few days. They weren’t very strict parents. Laid back a little bit.

 

“You packed?”

 

“Kinda.” Craig grunted. She wasn’t gonna make him help due to the mess that was him, but he was gonna have to keep bugging her to do it.

 

“Do you think Red really killed Kevin?” Ruby asked. Craig abruptly stopped short. Ruby would have gone through the window if it weren’t for the seatbelt. 2 cars honked at Craig. It started a stupid domino effect of idiot drivers honking because they could. Craig drove again, too fast this time.

 

“What the fuck, Craig?! Are you trying to kill us?” Ruby yelled.

 

“It was an accident!”

 

“We almost crashed you dick!” Craig steadied his shaking breath. What the hell was wrong with him? Why’d he do that? Ugh.

 

This was another reason to host this party. Life is bullshit and he wanted at least one night to try and forget that.

 

“Listen, Ruby. I’m just not in the mood to talk about that right now,” Craig said.

 

“So you try to kill us?” Craig looked at his little sister. She was looking out the windshield with her arms crossed.

 

“Let’s just forget this happened, alright? Don’t tell mom and dad.” Ruby didn’t say anything, but Craig saw her nod.

…

 

Sometimes Stan felt like he’s was being tested by a ruthless examinant. This test felt particularly brutal.

 

He knew he was over reacting, but he also knew he just screwed over his friendship. His friendship of 13 years.

 

What jackass does that?

 

A jackass with jackass friends who won’t help him.

 

Now Stan was sitting at a bench in front of Jimbos’ Guns. Owned by Stan’s uncle Jimbo. It’s where he told Kyle to meet him. Kyle said he’d come.

 

Stan’s heart was going to explode.

 

“Hey Stan.” The sun seemed to almost put a spotlight on Kyle. It didn’t help that the street was typically empty. Kyle was the only person to look at.

 

“Uh hey…buddy.” Stan felt the sort of awkward he had felt around Wendy till 9th grade. Like he was gonna throw up.

 

Hopefully he doesn’t.

 

Kyle walked up to him. Eyes focused like they always were. Neither could seem to look directly at the other.

 

“Listen Stan I just, I’m not, it’s,” Kyle stuttered. Kyle took a deep breath and made eye contact with Stan. “I don’t want to let this come between us okay. It was just a one time thing. We can forget about it, okay? You’re my best friend, dude. I don’t want to let this come between us.”

 

All Stan could do was nod. After Kyle had finished Stan just stared at his feet and nodded slightly. His heart hurt.

 

It shouldn’t though. This is good. It’s supposed be. They’ll move past it all. Everything between them should be fine.

 

But it wasn’t. That kiss MEANT something. Even if Stan could bring himself to say out loud.

 

“Come on, Stan. Are we cool,” Kyle asked. The redhead extended his hand. Stan took hold of it.

 

“Yeah,” Stan said “we’re cool.”

 

But he wasn’t sure if they were.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been cautious with relationships because I’m not sure what people may like about it. I always prefer story over relationships when I’m reading. So I want to ask: would the people reading this want more from the relationship side of thing? Less? The same? What would you want?


	16. Levitate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heidi is sick of it, so is Tweek, and Kenny thinks about the cult oddity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levitate by Twenty One Pilots

Heidi despised hospitals. She hated everything about them. The look, the smell, the sounds. She hated all of it.

 

Heidi had been in the hospital in 8th grade for a few months. She fainted during gym class. She didn’t think it’d gotten so bad. She thought she was fine. But she hadn’t been. Because she hadn’t been eating. It had felt like she’d failed if she did. It-

 

No no no. Bad memories. Unnecessary to think about.

 

Heidi was more baffled as to how no one currently seemed to care she was here. Yeah the adults of South Park often didn’t care about shit, but her parents didn’t seem very concerned. Sure she wasn’t in a terrible condition, a broken ankle, rope burns on her wrist and ankles, but you’d think her parents would be concerned about her. She was checked in in the middle of the night for crying out loud! And what had the excuse been? They were filming a movie? That’s what she’d been told. You’d think they’d pry on that explanation but everyone just accepted it. Maybe Heidi was just overreacting. Weirder things have happened. It was just…something was off. She’d felt it since she was made to witness Kenny shoot himself in the head (something she was still having nightmares about). She couldn’t wait to go home. Why was she even still in the hospital? She didn’t know. But she was sick of it.

 

…

 

When Kenny fended off the cultists from his friends it’d been a bizarre experience. He had volunteered to do it, but he didn’t have plan. I’ll just make an entire cult stop and chat while my friends run for their lives. Was all he’d plan for…and it exactly what happened. Upon seeing him every hooded figure stopped. There was a surprisingly awkward silence.

 

“So uh, what are you a cult for?” Kenny asked. He wasn’t a stranger to the concept. His parents had been in one. Which might be why he was the curse of immortality.

 

“The eternal god of night, winter, chaos and misfortune! Crnobog!” The man in front, the leader, exclaimed. Kenny remember him saying that earlier. Crnobog? What a dumb name? What mythos was he supposed to be from?

 

“Crnobog…Crnobog…what is that? Icelandic?” Kenny said.

 

“Slavic,” said the leader.

 

“Ah, Slavic. They really don’t get enough recognition nowadays.”

 

“I know right! It’s the Greeks and the Christians who get all the damn attention.”

 

What the fuck was happening here?

 

“I mean Crnobog is the god of chaos and misfortune. You’d think people would know better than to ignore him.”

 

“Exactly! Man I wish people would be more open like you. You wanna join the cult.”

 

“Uh, nah, I’m not much of a group oriented guy.”

 

“I get it I get it. Not everyone is. You seem like a good kid. Not much of those these days. Ah, sucks we have to kill you now. HARRISON, JON! Get him.” Out of nowhere two guys appeared. They were fucking shredded. Kenny was pretty sure the could easily rip his head off. The two carried steel bats. Well, it certainly wasn’t the worst way he’s gone out, but it was definitely gonna hurt.

 

They made it quick. There was a long moments of blood rushing from his head and his ribs breaking, but he got home pretty quick.

 

Butters was quick to visit Kenny. He came with chocolate. Damn, Kenny loves this kid.

 

So he definitely was going to lie about what had happened.

 

…

 

“You got a call…from Kevin?” Tweek’s boyfriend Craig spoke calmly while Tweek was on the verge of panic. He was getting really sick of the dead not staying dead. Eric, Kenny, and now Kevin. What the fuck was happening? He wanted to scream. In fact, he had screamed. A lot actually, but he always had a lot more in him.

 

“Well, that’s what he said. I was sure it was a prank, but at the end it was Kevin asking for help. Clear as day,” Token explained.

 

“B-but he’s dead! I know! I saw the photos, we all did! I-it’s not possible!” Tweek exclaimed. “Oh Jesus oh god.” Craig put a hand on Tweek’s shoulder and smiled at him slightly. A silent way to say “everything is going to be alright”. But everything wasn’t going to alright. Nothing has ever been “alright”

 

“I don’t know what’s going or how this happened. The dead haven’t exactly decided they’re okay with that role recently. What I’m hoping for is that we can possibly find Kevin,” Token said. How does he do it Tweek thought how is he always able to be so calm? Tweek was jealous of his friend. Token was like the opposite of Tweek. Relax, smart, and assertive. Tweek hated himself for being jealous. Sometimes Tweek just hated himself.

 

“That’s very unlikely,” Craig said. “We don’t know where he is or how to find him. Plus, one cryptic phone call isn’t very good evidence that Kevin is alive.” Token thought for a moment. Craig was right. It was ridiculous. There’s nothing to worry about. Tweek tried to steady his breath. To his surprise, it worked.

 

“I still think we should try. After everything that’s happened I want answers, and tracking this phone call may get me some.” That was a horrible idea. That was a bad idea that would leave a serial killer with the perfect opportunity to murder his friends. They didn’t even know Kevin super well. Only Clyde was friends with him.

 

“I guess it’s worth a shot,” Craig said. “If he ends up being alive then Red doesn’t have to go to jail.”

 

“Exactly. What do we have to lose?” Token agreed. Tweak couldn’t listen to this anymore.

 

“Gnn! Our lives! Our lives is what we have to lose! We already had a close call we don’t need another one. Gah! O-our guts could be ripped out by a murderer, or a bear! We could be kidnapped and sold into slavery. You’ll end up yelling ‘don’t feed me to the vultures.’ Don’t you get it?!” Tweek was shaking. He hated this. He hated all of this. Why was this happening? Craig held Tweek’s shoulders

 

“Woah, woah, Tweek. Calm down. You’re overreacting,” Craig said. Tweek quickly shrugged off Craig’s hands.

 

“Rhhh! Overreacting? Overreacting?! I’m the only one who seems to be taking any of this-gn-seriously!”

 

“It’s alright, Tweek. You don’t have to come. Just calm down.”

 

“AGH!! You’re not listening to me!”

 

“I am listening, Tweek, but you always do this. You always envision the worst case scenario. This isn’t the most dangerous thing you and I have done. It’ll be alright. Token and I will go. You just stay home.”

 

“Are you two really going to do this?” Craig and Token both nodded. Tweek sighed. When did everything start feeling like life or death?

 

“Fine, but I’m coming.”

 

 


	17. State of the Art

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The closer they get to an answer the more confused they get.
> 
> Fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> State of the Art by Incubus

When Token first thought to track the call from Clyde’s phone his immediate criticism of the idea was: how the hell am I supposed to do that? He couldn’t exactly get the police to do it. Too many things to explain. It also wasn’t like they’d actually do it. They’d think he was crazy. Honestly, if Clyde hadn’t been there Token would have thought he’d just hallucinated the call. 

 

If Kevin was alive he probably would know something about Eric Cartman’s death and supposed haunting. Maybe what happened to Eric happened to Kevin. Token didn’t believe Red killed Kevin. It just made no sense.

 

Ugh!

 

To many questions and no answers. Every thought lead to more confusion. Token hated it.

 

He had to trace that phone call. Luckily Token Black was rich. He could do it. If he placed his money in the right spot.

 

…

 

Stan realized a bit to late that asking for dating advice from his ex-girlfriend of 8 years was a terrible idea. A terrible, awful, stupid idea.

 

“So how’d it go with Kyle?” Wendy asked. Stan had once again barged into her room uninvited. She’d been doing something on the computer, but was quick to shut it and give Stan her full, undivided attention. He didn’t deserve such a nice ex.

 

“Terrible. It went fucking terrible,” Stan said, sitting into Wendy’s roll-y desk chair. “I mean. He said he wanted to put it all behind us and just be best friends again. Wendy tapped her fingers patiently on the top of her closed laptop.

 

“So you don’t want to be just best friends with Kyle.” Stan pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned.

 

“No, I do want to be his best friends. We’ve been best friends since we were in pre-k! I just, I don’t know.” What was he saying. Why did it hurt when Kyle said the kiss meant nothing? It shouldn’t. Stan wished he could start over. EVERYTHING over. He wasn’t sure where he’d want to start from, though. What was everything?

 

“Do you think you have feelings for Kyle,” Wendy said. She said it like she knew the answer. Stan wished she’d tell him what the answer was. Instead he said

 

“What? No! Of course not! He’s my super best friend.” He couldn’t of sounded anymore defensive than he had right then and there. Wendy just raised a curious eyebrow at him.

 

“Hm. Well, Stan, I don’t think you’re being very honest right now.”

 

“I am being honest! I’m not gay, and Kyle is my best friend.”

 

“I never said you were gay.”

 

“Yeah you- I’m not-I-“ Stan sputtered. “I’m gonna go home.” He got up. Wendy said “goodbye” but he didn’t really hear it.Stan Marsh wasn’t going to do anymore thinking today.

 

…

 

|

w/GrandWizard

GrandWizard: really stan?

 

GrandWizard: the jew??

 

GrandWizard: i knew you too were fags

 

GuitarHero: i dont know who you are but leave me the fuck alone.

 

GrandWizard: its eric dumbass

 

GrandWizard: and im not leaving anyone alone till you guys are dead

 

GuitarHero: what are you talking about, fatass?

 

GrandWizard: i died and no one gave a shit

 

GuitarHero: so? It’s not like you’re a very like able guy. Just leave me alone!

 

GrandWizard: not till your all dead

 

GrandWizard: see you in hell

 

GrandWizard left chat

|

 

Earlier that day, Wendy had had Kenny over. Just to explain somethings. She thought he had a right to know about it first.

 

“So I managed to get the camera footage from Tweak Bros. Coffee and-“

 

“Wait. There are cameras at Tweak’s?“ Kenny had interrupted her explanation as soon as Wendy had begun. Wendy sat on her bed and Kenny was sat where Stan would sit later that day.

 

“Yes there are cameras in the basement. Probably because of the meth lab-“

 

“There’s a meth lab in Tweak’s”

 

“Yes there is a meth lab. Can I continue.” Honestly, Wendy didn’t want to know why there was a meth lab. She actually didn’t care. She knew something was fucked up about that coffee. It’s why she never drank it. Hopefully there was t actually meth in it. Tweek drank so much of that stuff, his blood was probably 58% coffee by now.

 

“You can continue,” Kenny said. Wendy cleared her throat.

 

“I managed to get the video footage from the cameras. It was a mess down there so it was hard to find the footage from when Karen…died, but I managed to find it. I had to watch the footage from 4 different angles from each corner of the room,” Wendy explained. Kenny nodded his head. Expression unreadable. When the where younger and Kenny always had most his face covered up, it was hard to tell what he was thinking. As they got older he became very expressive. Easy to for the most part. Right now that wasn’t the case.

 

“Did you find who did it?” His voice was quiet.

 

“Well, kind of.” Kenny tilted his head. “Here. Just let me show you.” She turned her computer to face Kenny and played the video from the 3rd camera.

 

The video started with the sound of Karen coming down the stairs. She came into the slight view of the camera. She grabbed a bag of coffee beans and stumbled back a little. After getting steady, she began to reach for another bag on the shelf. Something she clearly couldn’t carry as well.

 

When Karen was slammed into the shelves containing the coffee bags, Wendy saw Kenny flinch. She felt terrible for showing him his sister’s death, but it could help them figure things out. And he had a right to know.

 

The coffee bag Karen reached for slammed into Karen’s head. She crumpled to the ground, out cold. A boy who had to be Kenny and Wendy’s age appeared. He had black hair and a blue shirt on, but you couldn’t tell who it was. He bent down next to Karen. Out of frame. It didn’t matter that they couldn’t see what he did. They already knew. It was probably better that they couldn’t see.

 

Wendy paused the video and closed her laptop.

 

Kenny was quiet. Everything about him looked sad. His eyes looked watery, his arms were limp in his lap. Even his hair hung like depressed limbs. Framing his malnourished face.

 

“Well with that, it’ll make it easier to find the fucker who did it.” Despite how sad and drained of life he looked at that moment, he spoke with a clear, confident voice.

 

“It certainly narrows it down,” Wendy agreed. She grabbed a notebook off her night table and opened it, taking a few page turns to get to the right one. “So far we have 4 things to narrow down the suspects. 1.) They’re a boy. 2.)They have black hair. 3.) they’re about our age. 4.) They weren’t present at Eric’s funeral or Tweak Bros. Coffee.” Wendy made a list of Boys who fit the list. She showed it to Kenny.

 

  * Stan Marsh 
  * Craig Tucker
  * David Rodriguez 
  * Marcus Preston 
  * Luke Covina 
  * Pete Thelman



 

“This is all I’ve got so far,” Wendy said. Kenny raised an eyebrow.

 

“Stan and Craig? But they were at the funeral.”

 

“I know, but Stan left during the service and came back shortly before it ended. And Craig allegedly hung out in the bathroom the entire time.”

 

“Okay, but why would either of them kill Karen? Why would any of these people kill her?”

 

“Why would Red kill Kevin? Sometimes people aren’t who we think they are,” Wendy offered. She didn’t want to accuse anyone of being a murderer, but she felt like there were many things they’d all have to do that they don’t want to.

 

…

 

|

Chatroom: Hit List

 

DirtyJew renamed chat Fuck This

 

DirtyJew: Before anyone says anything.

 

DirtyJew: I don’t know what happened and every time I try changing it back it goes straight back on to this stupid username.

 

GuitarHero: ouch dude

 

OfficialCallgirl: Do you think Eric did this?

 

DirtyJew: I don’t know, but whoever did is getting strangled.

 

OfficialCallgirl: Well, aside from that, I’m glad things are working out again for you and Stan.

 

GuitarHero: yeah…me to

 

KingTaco: what??? did smthing happen???

 

KingTaco: whatever

 

KingTaco: HUGE NEWS!

 

KingTaco: ME, TOKEN, CRAIG, AND TWEEK ARE GONNA GO FIND KEVIN CAUSE HES ALIVE!!!!

 

DramaQueen: wait. clyde. what are you talking about?

 

KingTaco: CANT TALK BYE

 

KingTaco: OH!

 

KingTaco: LOVE YOU BABE <3

|

 

Bradley hadn’t had to Earth in a long time. He didn’t feel at home there. Which made sense considering it wasn’t his birth planet. No he was actually a kokujonian. An alien with superpowers. He’d been flying around the universe to different planets, doing good as his superhero persona, Mint-Berry Crunch. Or MBC for short.

 

The last time he’d been on earth was around 5 years ago. He’d left to learn more about himself and so he could see what was out there. It had been fun and he learned a lot, but he wanted a to take a short trip back to see his family and friends again.

 

The most he knew was that The Coon, Eric Cartman, was dead.

 

Which was good. That guy was a jackass.

 

Bradley had first gone to visit Jimmy since he had moved. That visit consisted of laughing at jokes that were anything but funny. Which had its own charm to it.

 

Bradley then visited Timmy, who he’d kept closest contact to. They had a very in depth conversation of the universe and what was out there.

 

Bradley choose to head over to Stan Marsh’s house next. For whatever reason he’d been friends with Eric. Bradley wasn’t sure how long it’d been since Eric’s death. A week or so? A month? However long it’s been, his death still seemed to linger with the kids of South Park. Maybe because reality feels broken when a kid dies. Kids aren’t supposed to die. Or maybe it was for another reason Bradley wasn’t aware of. Anything is possible in South Park.

 


End file.
